I don’t think I’ve hidden the fact that I have a soft spot for “stupid”. Being an idiot sort of makes it necessary but outside of poor decision making and the adventures that leads to, my filmic preferences have always lead me down rabbit holes that were better left unexplored. I only bring this up because I don’t know how many times I’ve recommended this film and it’s followup that even it’s own director disowned to people when I was working behind the counter of a non-chain video store from the age of seventeen to twenty-something. Most folks came back shaking their head and never asking for another recommendation but those select few greeted me with a wide grin and asked for more. I know these movies aren’t “good” but I’ll take them over any of the Saw flicks and the slew of self-important A24 releases… but remember, I also hold Jason X and Amityville Emanuelle in high regard, so it’s probably best to not listen to me. J.P. Monroe is a well-off piece of shit who gets his hands on the Pillar of Souls which contains the soul of Pinhead after the climactic battle from the previous outing. He sets the ugly “art piece” up in his loft above the club he owns and soon discovers that the entity it contains can offer him power and pleasure if he offers up human sacrifices. It’s a deal that couldn’t possibly come back to bite him on his ass! Television journalist Joey Summerskill (Terry Farrell) gets dragged into the dangerous world of Hell Priests and Lament Configuration Boxes when she witnesses the horrific slaughter of a young man by those oh-so-familiar flesh-rendering chains of the Cenobites. One of those chains slices her ankle as the young man is wheeled into the operating room at the crappy hospital Joey is reporting from. The pretty young woman, Terri (lovely Paula Marshall who would later show up in the purposefully stupid Malignant) with the guy points Joey in the direction of her “boyfriend” Morgan’s club The Boiler Room and after further conversation, presents the reporter with that very dangerous puzzle box, warning her that it’s to blame for whatever the hell violent fate came to her friend. So, the two very attractive women begin looking into things with the naive Terri tagging along with the ambitious reporter and getting themselves into very dangerous waters they are ill-prepared to wade through. Joey has dreams about war and a very familiar British soldier who would become something terrifying reaching out for help. Terri runs back to Morgan after she thinks Joey is going to abandon her and when Morgan fails to feed her to Pinhead thanks to some hidden brass knuckles, The Hell Priest convinces her to sacrifice the dink that just attempted to murder her and let loose some Hell. She does and Pinhead is freed into our world. Oh, Terri… sweet baby girl. What have you done? The ghost of Pinhead’s human side attempts to help Ryan put an end to things because the demonic side of him is now unbound and that’s a very dangerous thing. Ryan’s going to have to open the gateway back to Hell (the puzzle box) before Pinhead can destroy it forever. Of course, there will be a massacre at The Boiler Room before any of this “final battle” shit can go down where new Cenobites will be formed and plenty of blood will be spilled. Performances range from Doug Bradley to one night stand who may be a slab of driftwood that gained sentience but that just makes the journey all the more charming. Iffy performances in a nightmare world full of Hellish machinations and a new slew of Cenobites ranging from silly to splendidly ridiculous (such horrors as club DJ, cameraman and bartender) just makes me nostalgic. It’s a world populated with bondage demons and idiots and it’s a world I don’t mind spending ninety minutes in.
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