10 Christopher Lee Films to Help You Through the Grief

We've Lost A King

   It's natural to feel down when you lose someone you've grown up with. Even if you had never met this person. Sir Christopher Lee has been a part of my life longer than most of my friends. Oddly enough, what I am left with is exactly what I had before he went on to the next adventure. Luckily, Sir Christopher Lee had a vast filmography. The man (now a legend) was in about three million films (don't look that up). So instead of moping around the house, unshaven, unwashed and gorging myself on cookies and cream ice cream, I can celebrate the man's life and career. You should as well. Here are 10 (Merits of Sin approved) films to help you through the grief.

HONORABLE MENTION: Raw Meat (1973)

   An excellent film about a cannibal  searching for food and love under London in the Tube tunnels. It has to be left off the list because Lee's role amounts to little more than a cameo. A fantastic mustachioed cameo but still a cameo.

Nothing Raw about that Flavor Saver

10. Howling II: ...Your Sister Is a Werewolf (1985)

  A completely stupid movie in the best way possible. The unwanted sequel to the Howling picks up where the first one ended and then stumbles off a cliff into a sea of idiocy. A game Christopher Lee plays an immortal werewolf hunter attempting to take down the queen of the werewolves once and for all. Punk clubs, dwarf werewolf hunters, shitty laser effects, exploding eyeballs and Sybil Danning's breasts all have their place in this trash treat.

Lee + The 80s = Infinite Smiles

9. Horror of Dracula (1958)

  Christopher Lee's Dracula battles with Peter Cushing's Van Helsing in this Hammer classic. Lee plays Dracula as a preternatural creature that is half alpha predator and half sex appeal. It works. My first introduction to this film was from a VHS of vampire film trailers. There is a scene in the trailer for Horror of Dracula that shows Lee slowly ascending a staircase with an inhuman look on his face. His victim awaits him frozen, unable to look away from the monster slowly making his way to her. This scene (at most ten seconds long) scared the hell out of me when I was a kid and has remained with me to this day.

The Transylvania Seal of Approval means it's OK to pee your pants

8.  Meatcleaver Massacre (1977)

  Christopher Lee bookends the actual film but I'm throwing it on the list.  Lee claims he recorded his narration for something else and the footage was placed on the beginning and end of Meatcleaver Massacre without his knowledge. It doesn't matter, it adds to the film's nutso charm. Lee rambles on about witchcraft and the occult while sitting in, what I hope is, his actual study at home. I love his scenes because it feels like he is your favorite uncle who has had one too many stiff drinks. In his current state, he has decided it's time he educated his nephew on the wonders and mysteries of the occult. Random folklore and flat out lies are presented as fact but it doesn't matter because you love the man and would never tell him he is full of shit. That's a special relationship.

7.  Curse III: Blood Sacrifice (1991)

  Not a great movie by even my low standards but it is still worth seeing for Christopher Lee's supporting role as a doctor well versed in curse-ology. The 1950s Africa setting and pissed off machete wielding sea god make this different enough to get a passing grade. Lee's bearded doctor has quite a bit of screen time and a couple of monologues. It's a great example of Christopher Lee elevating a film with his presence.  Bring beer and friends.

6.  The Devil Rides Out (1968)

  A rare (at the time) heroic outing for our man Lee. He plays a master of the occult up against a satanic coven interested in recruiting as many people as they can. Charles Gray (of Rocky Horror Picture Show fame) is terrific as the villainous head of the coven. He and Lee have wonderful chemistry and enhance eachothers performances. Lee as a hero is always great to see.

Wait. You're the good guy?

5. Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970)

  My favorite of the Christopher Lee Dracula series breathes some new life into the worn out tale. Three respectable heads of the community run afoul of Dracula when they murder his loyal servant. Their search for excitement and debauchery puts them in the "deserving" victim role and Dracula's vengeance is something to behold. 

4.  The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

  Christopher Lee plays a Bond villain attempting to harness the power of the sun. If you need more than that, I feel sorry for you.

3.  Dr. Terror's House of Horrors (1965)

  An anthology horror film featuring Christopher Lee under attack from a rival's severed hand. It's as awesome as it sounds. The first horror film I actively seeked out. Well before the internet made it easier, I was rummaging through Mom and Pop video stores and mail order catalogues for this Amicus classic. Years of exploration got me nowhere and admitting defeat was on the horizon until my grandfather recorded it off of late night television. My quest at an end, I remember being worried if all the effort was going to be for nothing. I was foolish to think that. Peter cushing, Michael Gough (as the deceased owner of the murderous appendage) and Donald Sutherland  join Lee in making one of the greatest British horror films to ever warp my young mind.

2. The Mummy (1959)

  My favorite mummy movie (that's more impressive than you think) and my favorite Hammer film. Lee plays the doomed and lovestruck high priest of Princess Ananka. After betraying his pharaoh because of this love he is mummified alive and buried along with the princess. A team of archaeologists disturb his lady love's tomb and he goes on a vengeance fueled rampage. Why must archaeologists always ignore Egyptian curses? Lee's mummy is terrifying, towering over his victims and expressing the best silent rage I've ever viewed. See it, dammit!

1. Horror Express (1972)

  Lee and Cushing play rival anthropologists trying to survive your usual alien possessed caveman-mummy attack aboard the Trans-Siberian Express. Telly Savalas shows up as a violent Kossack and there are blank eyed zombies. Come on! How awesome does that sound? And it is awesome. It's brain meltingly awesome. Damn. I'm gonna miss this man.

I know what you're feeling, buddy

  

The Most Dangerous Game of Ten Little Indians

The Beast Must Die (1974)

 UK horror films have always had a special place in my heart. The Hammer horror films of the late fifties and early sixties jabbed there skeletal fingers into my soul at an early age. Curse of Frankenstein, The Mummy, Curse of the Werewolf, Brides of Dracula and The Gorgon were constantly being rotated in the old VCR. Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing were as commonplace as Vincent Price and Boris Karloff. Not to brag, but I knew who Michael Ripper was before I knew who Robert Downey JR. was.Actually, I don't think one can brag about that. But, as I continued plunging into the world of UK nightmares, the British films of the seventies quickly became my favorites. The fashion, the vernacular, the dreary weather and a general sense of "fuck all" had me going all googly eyed over the images playing out on my television. Pete Walker, Snape Island, Horror Hospital and Donald Pleasence all play prominent roles in my fascination with horror films but I'm here to talk about one movie that started my love affair with UK chillers of the seventies.

This film is a detective story --

in which YOU are the detective

The question is not "who is the murderer?" --

But "who is the werewolf?"

After all the clues have been shown --

You will get a chance to give your answer,

So begins The Beast Must Die. The only film I know of with an official "Werewolf Break". It already has so much going for it. Classic 70s music, of the porn variety, plays over the opening credits. The music continues to be awesome throughout the film's runtime. We're introduced to Tom Newcliffe as he runs around a forest in a black tracksuit trying to avoid being found by an armed security force. Cameras are everywhere and a man is monitoring all of Tom's movements from a control room. It's your standard super villian control room (wall of monitors, a microphone for barking orders). You know, the kind of room where a Bond villain would watch in horror as his recently explained plans fall apart and Connery or Moore destroy his dreams of world domination. But not to worry, Tom is just testing out his men and security. The sinister European man behind the monitors is Tom's chief of security or monitoring or whatever the hell he's doing in that room. It turns out he has big plans. He's hosting a little get together and all his guests have one thing in common. They all have werewolfish skeletons in their closets and Tom wishes to hunt a werewolf. Tom puts it best "On safari or in the boardroom it's all the same. I go after what I want."

Enjoy the party....you lycanthrope bastards

Tom introduces himself to his party guests by pretending to be gunned down by his armed-with-blanks security force. I once introduced myself to party guests by firing blanks at them, I think Tom's introduction went over a little bit better. His guests include the Maestro played by Michael "Dumbledore" Gambon. Dumbledore's love interest Davina, Peter Cushing as a werewolf expert, the Criminologist from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and an artist by the name of Paul Foote. Paul Foote is pretty much the personification of what I find  so damn entertaining about 70's films. Unkempt hair, glorious facial hair, a fashion sense that defies logic, snappy one liners and a "screw it" attitude. As a bonus his running skills border dangerously close to frollicing. 

See what I mean?

All these people have been gathered because Tom knows their histories. Cannibalism and murder have followed them all over the world. Hell, our beloved Mr. Foote tried human flesh because he was curious. Tom has a dream, a dream of hunting and finding what no man has ever trapped. He should have tried to snag sasquatch. I think it would have been far less dangerous. The grounds are covered with cameras and microphones. The borders are all alarmed. They even have something that measures the vibrations of footsteps, so they can tell the difference between a deer and a wolf or a wolf and a man wolf. Tom has this shit on lockdown. There is no way to escape, as shown by a pretty lame car chase (not Mitchell lame but still lame). The guests get settled in with the knowledge that a psychopath is monitoring them to see which one of them is a werewolf. Still would not be the worst party I have attended.

10 points to Dumbledore

An awkward dinner of exposition, courtesy of Mr. Cushing, sets all the rules of "werewolf" in place. A silver candlestick is introduced and a game of "find-the werewolf" is played.  Wolfsbane is introduced to the mix and yet we still get no indication of who the werewolf might be. Tom acts like a complete asshole and pretty much ruins dinner for all involved. Foote says "Well! If that's dinner... I can't wait for the cabaret!" He's the best.

A touching tale of a man and his plant

Every guest is hinted at being the manbeast. Hairy hands, a lack of bathroom cameras (Tom may be a psychopath but he aint no pervert), disappearing guests, broken skylights and cameos by one of the most pathetic werewolves in film history all look to further test your skills of deduction. So you best put your largest thinking cap on if you want to figure out who the werewolf is by the time the 30 second "Werewolf Break" hits. You'll be pretty damned embarrassed if you fuck it up, chump.

Here's your chance. Good luck... chump.

Thirty seconds later, the final night begins  and it is the equivalent of Oprah handing out ripped throats to her audience. "You get a mauling! ANNNNNND you get a mauling!" The cast thins out and it become a little easier to decipher the identity of our hairy friend. A little twist, sanitary silver bullet tasting, a suicide and Peter Cushing slapping a hysterical woman leave a smile on my face. Yes, the werewolf is a dog fitted into a fur coat but SCREW IT! This movie has so much going for it that it will always get high marks from me. It is very biased but my opinion of the first 70's British horror film I saw will never change. 

The cast, the dialogue ( "If he's your werewolf, I admire his taste in flesh"), and even the shitty werewolf combine to make The Beast Must Die a perfect (by my standards) horror film. I would also like to mention that my girlfriend (who does not care for most of the crap I watch) actually liked this film, It got her interested in other British fright flicks, so make of that what you will. 

ARF! ARF! Uh... I mean... ARH-WOOOOOOOOOO!