I’m not sure how many films I’ve seen from the state of Maryland, it’s just not something I’d keep track of. According to the map featured in the opening credits, it’s a place rife with supernatural baddies and spooky legends. I guess there’s so many that they had to make an anthology to get just a few in. A couple playfully argues over the merits of Aliens and Twilight as the power goes out at the house they’re renting for their family vacation. Their son is upstairs tucked in tight and the house is full of creepy life-sized dolls. They light some candles, crack open some glow sticks and the hubby decides to tell some ghost stories about the historic haunted land they are currently staying on… also know as “The Terrortory”. In between his moderately spooky tales, a prowler is seen stalking around in the shadows, staying just out of view. A hunter heads out into the woods looking to bag himself a buck and wanders into a fenced-off area after finding an opening. He’s soon greeted by the unlikely sight of ethereal woman wearing a see-through white robe, just chilling by a small stream. When he asks if she’s okay, her only reply is “Did you bring me meat?” Oh no. He calls the police because at least he’s not a dope but when the dispatcher asks the same question about meat, our hunting hero realizes things ain’t exactly copacetic. He makes a break for it but it’s too late because he’s come into contact with a Maryland Siren and I guess they’re just like most other sirens. Perfectly fine time and Meadow Bosworth makes for one believable supernatural female. A film crew works on a slasher film in the forest. Which explains the awful windswept audio in the footage… it’s a clever bit and I’m all for it. There’s still a shit-ton of wind plaguing things but it’s at least better. The cast and crew are all cranky and horny and the director seems to be losing patience on the whole production of his low-budget slasher flick. Of course, a real killer strikes, taking out the two leads with a pickaxe as they attempt to slip into the bone zone. The crew follows close behind to whatever afterlife they believe in as a killer and their own stupidity whittles ‘em down. And that’s Prowler, it’s not that memorable. A couple march into the forest looking for a spot to camp. The young man (maybe, he kind of looks like a forty-year-old man posing as an emo teenager) plans on proposing to his lady… I hope everything works out. The place is supposedly the stomping grounds of the urban legend Smiling Jack. Since that’s the title, you can assume the creep in the cheap plastic jack o’ lantern mask is going to ruin the proposal. It turns out the couple are actually there to capture the fiend and plan on putting an end to him. It’s a nice little spin on slasher shenanigans with the two just acting the part of horny couple waiting to be slaughtered because they’re looking to gain some fame with Jack’s capture and physical proof of a legend. This is a fun one that spices things up with its neat little twist. Also helps that our heroine ends up running around in her bra with her camera in hand. Drone Collector follows a quartet of friends searching for a waterfall and warned along the way about the dangers of ticks, spiders and snakes by some old timer they cross on the trail. They politely dismiss him and move on. Soon after they come across a drone flying around, comment on how cool it is and then carry on with their trip. It keeps following them and they start getting annoyed. They notice the camera on the thing and mess around with it. It shoots out a poison dart, hitting the one girl who was flashing her cleavage at it, and the group realize they need to scoot. That’s when more drones approach. They got blades to go along with the poison and their operator is adept at using his little flying machines to kill. It’s a silly premise treated with straight-faced sincerity and all the better for it. There’s nice cleavage and some dope explodes… what more could I ask for? Best of the batch so far. Let’s see how Midnight Clown fares. Another group of aspiring filmmakers are out in the middle of nature and it’s all being filmed for a behind-the-scenes kinda thing. They’re shooting a found footage film but they become part of their own found footage when a killer clown targets their asses to terrorize and kill. Adult film star Nadia White (Mom Swap and Joey’s Feet Girls to name but a few) is there along with her bewbs and almost immediately things go wrong with the production. Missing props, a pissed-off DOP and something hanging around and filming the dopes point to this whole debacle ending badly. They quickly turn against each other and the legend of the Midnight Clown is shared by the cameraman. The clown kinda looks like Will Sasso which isn’t creepy at all but he is pretty good at murdering, so I guess that’s something. It’s okay but it could have used more Nadia White. We finally find out what’s going down in the rental house with our storytelling husband and it’s a rare occasion when the glue of an anthology is one of better bits involved... even if the ending is a cop out (at least it lands a joke). The wraparound Götz is aided by two leads with chemistry and a nice bit of atmosphere granted by a dark house, shadows and some creepy dolls. There’s one outright dud and everything else at least has its moments with a couple being downright enjoyable, making this a successful anthology in my book and leaves me hoping for some more horror to come out of Maryland. That’s a strange thing to say.
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