⭐️1/2
Oh Quiltface, why your face so damn quilty? A group of students pick the Nevada desert for their class photography project. What we know and they don’t is that this less-than photogenic stretch of wasteland is home to a machete-wielding lunatic in a mask. We’re privy to this info thanks to an un-erotic topless photo shoot turning into an un-erotic sandy bone session which ultimately becomes the slaughter of two innocent morons. So, it’s into the barren nothingness of the Nevada desert for our four unattractive (Not just physically, they’re also ugly on the inside) heroes/idiots. So, it’s really hard to root for anybody outside of the masked madman with the machete and even he’s kind of a weenie. A helpful driver fills them in on the legend of Quiltface as he escorts them to the desert. Old Quiltface was born in the desert (at midnight) and killed his mama then ate her corpse. He was ugly as fuck so he took the skin of his victims and fashioned himself a mask. Makes sense to me. Struggle along with the actors as they attempt comedy and then struggle harder as they give terror the old college try. Do they fail? Of course they do but, hell, they tried and that’s more than I’ve ever done. There ain’t much going on here outside of the quartet of unlikable people walking around the desert, getting on each other’s nerves, seeing the killer randomly pop up and somehow disappear in an area with very few hiding spots. There’s also a desert hermit who offers a depressing glimpse of what may be my future. Audio issues persist because it may be cheaper to use the camera’s built-in microphone but it sure as hell will catch all of the wind in the area. Low-jack graphic violence, a good amount of dust covering everything and a mask that probably cost the team a few extra bucks from the beer fund keep things from being a complete waste of time but it still feels like the team behind the camera lost interest somewhere around pre-production.
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