The aswang is a Filipino monster which feeds upon unborn babies in the mother's womb. It has a projectable tongue it uses to invade the mother's womb through her vagina. A group of Wisconsin filmmakers decided they wanted to make a film about this. Let that sink in. Are you smiling? If not, you may want to leave. I think you may be in the wrong place. Now that it's just us weirdos, we can talk about this tongue centric horror film.
Katrina is in a bit of a bind. She is pregnant and her boy toy doesn't want the baby. He even offers to pay for "a trip to the clinic." What a guy! Katrina has other plans. She has found some oddball Wisconsinite who needs an heir before he can get his hands on his family's vast estate. He has money and he is willing to dish out the sweet greenbacks for the exclusive rights to the little bastard inside Katrina's tummy. She signs a contract (something the man continuously reminds her) and things hit a steady decline for her from this point on. Before you can say "Go Badgers!" Katrina is on her way to meet her "husband" Peter's mother.
Only Call Him Daddy in a Sexual Context
Peter Null ain't the only oddball in his family. His mother Olive is a wheelchair bound weirdo constantly being looked after by their Filipino maid Cupid. Peter's sister lives on the grounds away from everyone in a cabin because she is "touched in the head". Katrina is warned to stay away from the cabin. There's also some kind of professor roaming around but he is not welcome there. Peter shouts "he's violating my property rights!" He knows more than he is letting on but he does not survive long enough for us to figure out just what he knew. Just like every other family there is a horrible secret to the Null's. What is a secret if not horrible? I'd much rather stumble upon a basement burial ground than some lame ass surprise party. If you're gonna have a secret make sure it is a dark one.
It's Like Full House with Just a Little More Baby Eating
Everyone is very interested in Katrina's unborn child. Hell, she wakes up from an unsettling nightmare to find Peter going down her. He is doing this to learn the gender of the baby. I didn't know you could do that through cunnilingus. You learn something new every day. Turns out their interest lies more on the feasting side of things. Mother and son are aswangs and they are hungry. Judging by the remains the professor has discovered littered all over the Null estate, they have eaten many times. This leaves Katrina in a fight for her and her daughter's life.
And I Was Like Baby, Baby, Baby...Oh God No!
Cupid Gets Close
Aswang is different. If you have an affinity for oddball horror films you may have come across this creature before but you have never seen it handled by Wisconsinites on a tight budget. It's 82 minute run time keeps it zipping along and avoiding the padding curse one usually runs into when watching regional horror films. There's also plenty of weirdness to keep you awake such as the scene where Katrina gets ahold of the mother's exploring tongue, pulls her off the roof by it and forces Peter to severe the 50 ft long tongue because mama Null is hanging off the balcony by it. There's a random ass chainsaw attack and a hoe defense. There is some bad acting but it isn't distracting and the sight of a chainsaw wielding man in pajama pants chasing a pregnant woman more than makes up for any scenery chewing.
There's a "Hoe" and "Head" Joke in Here Somewhere but I'm Pretty Drunk
Wisconsin has gone two for two with oddball horror. Between the orgasm causing samurai ghost of Blood Beat and the baby snatching tongue monsters of Aswang I am growing quite fond of my neighbor to the north. Keep it weird, Wisconsin....keep it weird.
Aswanged
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