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One of those pesky secret formulas/mechanisms that causes things to grow to ridiculous sizes ends up in the hands of a little girl and she accidentally zaps her pet snake (and best friend) with whatever the formula/mechanism is because how else are you gonna explain a monster snake causing a ruckus. The terrorists responsible for stealing and losing the formula set their sights on the girl but her colossal reptilian protector has other plans. The head of the evil organization knows if he has control of the formula, he will have control of the world’s food supply and that will give him power. He expresses this much in the opening. What follows is bullshit…glorious bullshit. Godfrey Ho does what he does best and massacres a Taiwanese film by the name of King of the Serpents to unleash trash bliss. The opening credits are set to music that sounds like you’re rushing through a level of Contra after ingesting all of your brother’s cocaine (you thought it was sugar). The head of the terrorist organization gives a performance that will go down in history as so bad it transcends talent and becomes mythical. The young girl communicates with her huge reptile which nods and shakes its head and sometimes shrieks and keeps it in the family shed because there’s no way her mother would approve. A dull-as-dirt American special agent badass (Ted Fast) shows up to help the scientists and military who lost the formula. An inspector is also looking into things and forms a relationship with a lab worker who was a reluctant agent for the terrorist organization. All of this loosely comes together with scenes of the age-old kinship between girl and snake. The snake gets even larger after a trap set by the villains goes wrong and things get even dumber. There’s also massive collateral damage presented on a budget. Good times but as it goes with most of these Ho-downs, it somewhat overstays its welcome.
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