Six idiots partake in an Italian vacation, bunking down in a beautiful Italian villa one of them inherited. Of course the place has a bad history and of course the annoying dinks stir up some awfulness. Things start off with bisexual psychic Ashley having some strange visions and then their car gets fucked up and their phones have no signal. Surrounded by miles of forest, the wieners realize they’re pretty much stuck at the villa. While looking around the cavernous cellar for canned food, two of the dips go off to have sex. After a jump-scare ruins the anti-erotic bang session, the dude wanders away and finds a creepy-ass room filled with unsettling sketches and antiques. He also finds an altar where an ancient-lookin’ book is sinisterly displayed. Someday morons will learn to leave old-ass books alone, today is not that day. It’s a diary and it shares the story of the evil possession that went down at the location which ended in the death of a family and the slaying of a loved one. The disfigured witch is buried on the property (I mean, the place does have a crypt) and said book leads the group to her grave. Since folks don’t take supernatural things seriously, the murder-happy woman comes back and messy ends start hitting our heroes like any late 80s spaghetti nightmare. Awkward dubbing and dialogue will have you smiling as visions of Eurociné dance through your head. The dull opening stretch may try your patience but once the silly-lookin’ hell-bitch starts doing what she does best, things get a little better, but not much. Giggling ghost kids run around, security camera footage feels incredibly out of place, there’s a mannequin room, everyone acts like an idiot in between unconvincingly acting like a human and anytime action fires up, the “drama” takes you right out of it. More lame than anything, even if it did give off some vibes that were right up my alley.
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