A sadistic Union Calvary major by the name of Aaron Parker is executed for his heinous crimes. As he stands ready to be hung from the neck until he is dead, he refuses to recant his wicked ways before the end and throws out your usual curse on the descendants. More than one-hundred years later, a group of amateur magicians (they may be professionals but leader Powell looks like he’s pushing sixteen, so I’ll call them amateurs) attempt one hell of a magical feat by raising the dead. The time and alignment of whatever astrological and astrophysical bullshit seems perfect for them to complete their task. They succeed but they bring back Major Parker and he’s hellbent on dishing out violent revenge to the ancestors of the men who hung him. He takes out two of the five dinks immediately and Powell (who I’m now realizing resembles Uncle Fester cosplaying as Mark Hamill) panics. The surviving three dump the naked bodies of their former friends in an alley and drive off. Sultry Marisa (well, Tucson sultry) seems to be handling this with the levelest of heads, she knows they have to get their stories straight and they have to banish the evil entity before real damage is done. The other girl of the group wants to go to an expert magician by the name of Donald Graham but Powell feels they don’t need him. They definitely do but like I said, they’re amateurs and assholes for the most part. Although, Donald looks like a disheveled Larry Hankin (or a cracked out Wes Craven) so maybe Powell is right to try to handle things on his own. They go to Donald anyways and admit they fucked up but the bodies are already dropping. Donald and Powell butt heads, Marisa looks like she’s constantly holding in a fart, an elderly police chief is one badass grandma and a reporter looks like Tito Santana if he never hit the gym. Some naked magic allows the unnamed chesty chickadee to see what happened in the past with Major Parker and give the group a heads up on the threat they’re facing. They take action but Parker is one dedicated bastard and no matter how much they try to help, people are still ending up cut down. Tucson, Arizona shot weirdness is packed with saber violence, magick fixations and a surprising amount of nudity considering the paychecks these “actors” were bringing home. Access to the local civil war reenactment society’s costumes, a town willing to help out their homegrown filmmakers and a special effects team that knew what the fuck it was doing add a level of professionalism to this backyard slice of regional horror. It’s right in that sweet spot between competency and blind enthusiasm.
No comments:
Post a Comment