Bloody Murder (2000) (USA)

aka Scream Bloody Murder

⭐️⭐️1/2

A killer in a hockey mask does away with some old-looking young folks as they open up a long-closed camp. No. It’s not that movie. It’s one of my favorite bad slasher flicks to hit the straight-to-video shelves in the early-aughts boom period. Psychopathic killer, Trevor Moorehouse, is a bit of a local legend, so it’s no surprise when the bland idiots start coming to messy ends. Counselor Jason (ahem) is the first to go missing and the usual post-Scream meta-shenanigans lazily play out. Half-assed violence and a script that may have less effort put into it than a porno from the same time period add to the stank of failure. Non-running chainsaw attacks, a creepy old coot with a warning, transference, the buttliest of butt-music, and the acting prowess of a 2nd-grade performance of Les Mis bring it all together in a beautiful bit of garbage cinema. I recommend booze and like-minded idiots.

Bloodsucking Bastards (2015) (USA)

⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2

Hilarious vampire flick finds a small office infested with bloodsuckers when the new sales manager takes over. Not only is timid Evan passed over for the job, the man who takes his spot is an old enemy from school. Of course, he’s also a vampire. Evan has to team up with slacker best buddy, an incredibly efficient security guard and the head of HR who just broke up with him. Vampires explode, jokes land and an excellent cast shows the fuck up. Pedro Pascal is great as the head vampire and Joey Kern steals every scene he’s in as the Evan’s pretty much worthless buddy.

Absentia (2011) (USA)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Mike Flanagan’s debut full-length horror feature is a triumph of low-budget cinema. Two sisters begin to suspect that a creepy tunnel in their neighborhood may be harboring a horrifying secret which may have to do with the disappearance of the eldest sister’s husband seven years earlier. Fully utilizing its small and talented cast, Absentia works as a wonderful character study about family and grief. But when it wants to terrify, it shows you just how far you can push the limits of your budget with a masterful manipulation of sound and visual design. It slowly turns up the unease until it becomes near unbearable. Flanagan has gone on to show just how amazing of a filmmaker he is with a string of great horror, including the game-changing The Haunting of Hill House on Netflix.