In the straits of San Sebastián, a sunk Spanish galleon named El Diablo is supposedly cursed and protected by supernatural forces but this won’t stop a treasure hunting loser from giving it a go. His shitty boat tour business ain’t exactly booming and on his last outing he fished in a human leg but since Max Cash is a deadbeat, he don’t let it bring him down. Especially when he sees a nice piece of tail at the bar. Aggressive (and awkward) making out happens but comes to a stall when the woman begins to sob. It’s not just because she finally realized who she took home (although I’m sure it didn’t help) and she confesses the next day that she needs to charter his shit-heap (the Vagrant Viking) to find the El Diablo. A bad storm places them on a near-empty island and their host talks of the Devil. This doesn’t really go anywhere. There’s also a minister wandering around a parish, talking about the antichrist and getting attacked by some ghostly form in a robe. On top of navigating waters where a ship probably shouldn’t be, there’s some other assholes tracking the treasure and they ain’t afraid to get their hands dirty. All of this combines to make for something that is on the other side of thrilling. The woman has vivid dreams of the past, present and future (psychic? stupid? both?) and several folks drop dead along the way. It’s all done with the excitement level of a church-funded bus trip to Sheboygan but on a holiday, so all the restaurants are closed. It honestly feels like somebody got confused while planning a Spanish holiday, accidentally booked a trip to Saint Sebastián, realized they could con a production company to pay for it and then halfheartedly attempted to make a film that would cause folks to fall asleep while they tried to recoup the losses on their boneheaded travel booking. The Devil himself shows up and you’re just kinda of left wishing a filmmaker who knew how to shift anything out of park was behind the camera. Things do pick up (kind of) when there’s about ten minutes left. There’s a wonderful garbage flick buried somewhere in all the tedium, we just needed someone better than Max Cash to unearth it.
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