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A meteorite crashes into the Tennessee farm property of super-religious asshole Nathan Crane (Claude fuckin’ Akins). Nathan is struggling to keep his farm running and keep his family in line with his beliefs but concerns of hellfire will have to wait because whatever the hell oozed out of the space rock and seeped into the soil soon contaminates the area’s water supply. Madness and mutation follows close behind and Nathan’s second wife Frances and her kids from a previous marriage are facing mortal danger. Nathan’s obnoxious giant son Cyrus from his first marriage is also around but he’s a massive pud and deserves any and everything bad that comes to him. Frances bangs the help (hairy-shouldered Mike) and Young Zachary (Wil Wheaton) knows something awful is going down as his mom, livestock and vegetables degrade into nastiness but Nathan believes it’s just God’s punishment for the sinning ways of the people under his roof. In his defense, the damn thing crashed into the earth while Frances was getting pounded by the disgustingly hairy farmhand and his apple harvest is quite impressive but unfortunately full of worms. The town doctor also sees the object make landfall but a scuzzy speculator dissuades him from calling in any professionals to look over the comet and since he’s the smartest man around, he looks into it. There’s also talk of a reservoir being built and a rookie TVA agent making his way through town. When mom mutates into a slimy hag, things finally get the right kind of stupid. Lovecraft adaption and the directorial debut of actor David Keith never really picks up any kind of steam and just kind of meanders around trying to be a few too many things while succeeding at none of them. There’s hairy asses for the ladies (or the fellas), oiled up legs for the fellas (or the ladies), bleeding tomatoes for the foodies and a little girl being attacked by a swarm of chickens… that’s for me.
A meteorite crashes into the Tennessee farm property of super-religious asshole Nathan Crane (Claude fuckin’ Akins). Nathan is struggling to keep his farm running and keep his family in line with his beliefs but concerns of hellfire will have to wait because whatever the hell oozed out of the space rock and seeped into the soil soon contaminates the area’s water supply. Madness and mutation follows close behind and Nathan’s second wife Frances and her kids from a previous marriage are facing mortal danger. Nathan’s obnoxious giant son Cyrus from his first marriage is also around but he’s a massive pud and deserves any and everything bad that comes to him. Frances bangs the help (hairy-shouldered Mike) and Young Zachary (Wil Wheaton) knows something awful is going down as his mom, livestock and vegetables degrade into nastiness but Nathan believes it’s just God’s punishment for the sinning ways of the people under his roof. In his defense, the damn thing crashed into the earth while Frances was getting pounded by the disgustingly hairy farmhand and his apple harvest is quite impressive but unfortunately full of worms. The town doctor also sees the object make landfall but a scuzzy speculator dissuades him from calling in any professionals to look over the comet and since he’s the smartest man around, he looks into it. There’s also talk of a reservoir being built and a rookie TVA agent making his way through town. When mom mutates into a slimy hag, things finally get the right kind of stupid. Lovecraft adaption and the directorial debut of actor David Keith never really picks up any kind of steam and just kind of meanders around trying to be a few too many things while succeeding at none of them. There’s hairy asses for the ladies (or the fellas), oiled up legs for the fellas (or the ladies), bleeding tomatoes for the foodies and a little girl being attacked by a swarm of chickens… that’s for me.
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