The Bloodstained Lawn (1973) (Italy)

⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2

Lunacy and wealth are an already dangerous mix but if you add deviance to the equation, you’re just asking for trouble. A group of well-off weirdos pick up the kind of folks who won’t be missed and bring them back to their fenced-off villa. Initially the random-ass houseguests (a prostitute, a gypsy, a drunk and two hippie hitchhikers) are treated well by the odd brother and sister duo and the sister’s somehow weirder husband who is mighty keen on sporting ridiculous neckerchiefs made to look like ridiculous bow ties. Along with his interesting fashion choices, the husband is an inventor/scientist who specializes in robots and something that has to do with bloodwork. He’s all too happy to collect a sample from the young hippie girl when she pricks herself on something in the guest room couch. He lets her know that he has researched the evolution of plant and animal and has concluded that nature is flawed and it’s on the human race to modify and repair themselves. Of course, the only way to do this is to bring together man and machine. I’d be concerned if I was spending the night in this man’s home. On the first night after the hippies light some incense, smoke their Devil’s lettuce and start getting frisky, the drunk interrupts and takes the hippie dude on a little tour. It ends with him showing the stoned man the gypsy girl, tied up with a rope, buck naked in her room. The creepy brother tells them she’s family and she has epilepsy so it’s for her own safety. The drunk protests but is dismissed for being… well, a drunk. I think if the homeowners got rid of the viewing windows they have on the room doors, this could be avoided but then I guess the creepy sister couldn’t spy on them. A narcotics agent is on the trail as an unsettling amount of missing people have been reported. After discovering wine bottles being shipped out filled with blood, he knows there’s some sinister shit afoot. Let’s just hope he can follow the trail and make it on time to at least rescue one of the slowly vanishing houseguests. An outdoor oven contains a skull, attractive people get naked, a “perfect man” is created, there’s a champagne infused naked dance party in a room of mirrors, sexual hang ups, a whole lotta wine, bickering spouses, a hilarious janky-ass blood drinking robot (fuckin’ thing has a cape) that’s about as threatening as something a bored child would piece together in their stepdad’s garage, a basement secret that we’ve all seen coming from about ten minutes in and a last act reveal that’s somehow disturbing and hilarious in unison. It is one strange flick that despite its giallo title is nowhere near that particular area of film. Stretches of boredom hit more than once but the main thrust of the story is so unexpected and off-kilter that it’s worth waiting around for.