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Using her awkward high school years as a basis, Rebecca Crane wrote a popular coming-of-age novel and is now a celebrity. Planning alongside her new mouth-breather boyfriend (former-jock current-douchebag Matt), Rebecca throws a reunion for her classmates and must come face to face with the folks she used as blueprints for her characters in the book… which doesn’t paint everyone in the best light. There’s drugs, sex, booze, jealousy and revenge on the horizon. But mostly there’s awkward chatting followed by some awkward ad-libbing spiced up with rancid acting and line delivery better suited for a third grade theatrical production. A killer in budget knight’s armor shows up and starts killing off the sentient potatoes one by one. Why knight’s armor, you may ask. Well, I’m guessing because the filmmaker had it readily available or it was their old school mascot… yeah… that’s it. Opening with a ludicrous sex scene (not in that they’re doing the kind of things you pay extra for in the alley behind your third favorite Mexican restaurant but in that the complete lack of chemistry makes it look like extra noisy marionettes are going at it), followed by a jam session where a dude plays an unplugged electric guitar, sweetened up with an entire game of Never Have I Ever played in real time and finally wrapping everything up with a revelation of spiked drinks and vengeance born from being turned in for cheating on an exam. If you manage to stay awake, you’ll be treated to more dialogue and incompetence. If you have a hard-on for somber piano music, inept murders and a cast of friends working with a non-existent script, then you are in the right place. It exists in that odd dimensional space where the void of entertainment is so prevalent it becomes magically entertaining but only just.
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