The Toxic Man (1995) (Finland)

⭐️⭐️⭐️

On the walk home from his shitty job, a young man falls into an ooze-filled ditch. Of course, he begins melting and goes a little homicidal. Throwing on a mask, some mittens and sunglasses, the dude gets his murder on. It’s a bunch of kids having fun with a camera and spraying fake blood all over the place. A chunk of the film is dedicated to the exploits of a woodcutter who went nuts and escaped into the woods, a card game ends in a fatal beating, the limited “actors” take on multiple roles and the lowest quality of special effects are used... it’s pretty great. Your mileage completely depends on your stomach for backyard garbage because this ain’t cinema, it’s a home movie made over a couple of weekends with nothing but initiative and booze. As usual, it’s pretty damn repetitive and is mostly a rambling mess.

Xtro (1982) (UK/USA)

aka Judas Goat 

⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2

Three years after he saw his father abducted by a UFO, young Tony is still having nightmares. This proves to be the least of his problems as his life is about to get way more complicated. A grotesque alien creature crash lands on earth, murders a couple motorists and then orally impregnates an unfortunate woman. This woman soon gives birth to the missing father. Still with me? Great! The father comes back into Tony’s life, causing obvious friction between his mother and her photographer boyfriend. On top of that, the alien hybrid papa bestows a strange power onto his son which allows him to bring his toys to life with creeptastic and murderous results. Alien Dad also wants to take Tony with him to his new home planet and it doesn’t seem like anyone will be able to stop him. A lovely mess of a film feels a bit more Italian than English but in this house that is more than acceptable. It’s icky, it’s weird and it’s got a sexy French babysitter who gets cocooned and lays some alien eggs. See it!

Pyewacket (2017) (Canada)

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Following the tragic loss of her father, Leah's mother (Laurie Holden) attempts to escape the depressing memories by moving with her daughter to a new town. The daughter is upset leaving her friends and new boyfriend and, following a particularly nasty argument, Leah's plausible teen angst leads to an occult ceremony in the middle of the woods. Leah summons the demon Pyewacket and tragedy follows. The gamble Pyewacket takes is risky as all hell. In a scenario where both main characters could have come off as unsympathetic assholes, it successfully toes the line and pulls off presenting them as flawed but immensely likable. They have a true mother/daughter chemistry and it shines above all else. Sadly, there isn't much else that stands out. It's a competent film and offers one extremely well-placed gut punch but outside of that, it feels a bit lean.

House of the Damned (1996) (USA)

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Three months after the brutal murder of her father, Liz is talked into celebrating her 21st birthday by her father’s killer... her mother. Liz’s mother is an ancient witch who has struck up a dark bargain with some evil forces: she will never age as long as every 21 years she sacrifices a daughter to the evil power. Liz’s grandpa (who is actually her brother) lets her know she can break the curse as long as she survives her 21st birthday. It ain’t gonna be easy. Her gathered friends are murdered in various supernatural ways and they come back as zombies (one even raps a grim verse to poor Liz). There’s also some POV camera attacks and poltergeist activity going on and Liz’s father comes back as a mirror-trapped ghost to offer some help. It’s cheap as all hell and incredibly charming. Shot in black and white and blessed/cursed with a repetitive and droning score, the first feature from Sean Weathers won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. If you’re inclined to enjoy the more enthusiastic-than-skilled brand of horror, you may get a kick out of this one.