Those sons of bitches did it… sons of bitches. Dr. Nathan Sands (Eric Roberts who seems to be enjoying himself while not putting that much effort into proceedings) puts his mad brain to work to create the next hyper-weapon for the United States Navy. Instead of going the normal route of munitions and mass destruction, he fiddles around with the DNA of a shark and an octopus. Combining the two into a nightmare weapon that easily escapes Uncle Sam’s clutches thanks to a malfunction in its controls and raises hell in the lovely waters of Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. At least everyone got a nice little vacation. Locals and tourists fall to the teeth and tentacles of the beast and a ragtag group of idiots set out to catch the creature and return it to the U.S. government. That team includes a former mercenary with very few brain cells, Dr. Sand’s cute daughter and a seasoned pro with experience on the water but they best get on stopping this damn thing before it wipes out a seaside resort and causes more havoc than the U.S. of A can hush up. There’s also a journalist chasing a story (after a local sent her a picture of the monster) along with her cameraman played by Esqueleto from Nacho Libre, although I appreciate him more as Lonnie Donaho in Gentlemen Broncos. Sure it’s lazy as fuck but it’s a fucking sharktopus swimming around and murdering dopes… how can I be mad at that? I can’t. I’m just not wired that way. Roger Corman shows up to witness the poorly-rendered cgi monster snatch up a beach cutie, I’m seriously amazed I didn’t catch Mr. Roberts reading cue cards even once, for a film filled with poor performances only a few really stand out, the cgi is piss-poor (and I’m saying this as a fan of SyFy’s output), none of the characters are memorable and this may be the lowest-effort flick I’ve seen in a very long time. I can’t stress how lazy this fucking thing is but we’d get some much better sequels and it’s still a fucking sharktopus fucking up things for some beachgoers and other idiots.
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