Bad Building (2015) (Canada)

⭐️

The Desmond is a towering high rise which has stood vacant for the better part of a century thanks to a history of tragedies including fires, murder and insanity. Hell, the spot it was built upon was the site of a colonial-era genocide of Native Americans inspired by religious madness… so the place is definitely harnessing some bad fucking vibes. Most concerning (at least to me) is the fact that the giant empty building seems to take care of itself when it comes to squatters and copper thieves. Something is definitely off there. But where others hear warning bells and clench their sphincters in fear, the host of America’s Most Haunted, Johnny Craig, sees the perfect spot to hold a prime-time special. Craig brings along a team of urban explorers (insisting on not being filmed) to assist his crew in the massive exploration (and illegal entry) of the infamous building and if you’ve seen one horror film in your life, I really don’t feel it’s a spoiler when I tell you The Desmond’s haunted history is all too real. Craig’s balls are in a vice because he’s been threatened with cancellation by his producer (who really blows at acting) so it explains why he’s willing to quiet his conscience and judgment when it comes to this endeavor. They sneak in through the sewer and the limited building security doesn’t pose that much of a threat. As the crew makes its way through the basement tunnels, they’re watched by some bald weirdo with black eyes. That’ll probably be important for later. Ghosts appear like they belong in a History Channel documentary on Chicago’s most haunted locations and are somehow less convincing than those ghostly gangsters talking with their hands as a dog barks at them (I realize my sisters may be the only people who get that reference and I refuse to apologize). Outside of that core memory being a pleasant bit of nostalgia, there ain’t much else going on. The death of a crew member leads to everyone wanting to abandon ship… except for Johnny, who pulls a gun and insists nobody leaves. But that goes nowhere because it doesn’t take long for him to lose the gun and everyone just tries to get out. Great. Quick but pointless. Some bloody deaths hit and the team discovers that the building doesn’t want them to leave. Everything about this movie has been done better somewhere else and there’s not much in here to make the viewer feel like they haven’t wasted their time.