There’s nastiness afoot deep in Adirondack Mountains and two former freinds with a shared loss may be running into it soon. Toby and Sarah are attempting to reconnect following the death of Toby’s girlfriend through camping (no, I don’t get it either) but something is off and Sarah picks up on the unsettling vibes. Toby leads them off trail because he’s one of those “ADVENTURE IS WHAT MATTERS!” dopes. A local police sergeant also has a bad feeling gnawing away at her and thinks there’s some horrible shit going down in the beautiful forest. Coming across a long-dead corpse and a disturbing collection of discarded shoes will shake anyone. Her superiors don’t think it’s any reason to close down the trails and believe she’s just blowing things out of proportion. The pre-credits let us know that some lunatic is definitely out there torturing and murdering people. The two dopes get on each other’s nerves immediately and the psychopath roaming the forest kills random folks and has unconvincing but hilarious flashbacks to past trauma. Not that it matters because the two campers resort to physical violence against each other within a day. In fact, Toby reveals he killed his girlfriend and starts hunting Sarah. Sarah gets stabbed and manages to escape right into the hunting grounds of the local serial killer. Let’s hope Sarge can save her in time as she begins to look into things and comes across an abandoned car with her green, mustachioed partner. Or not. I really don’t care if any of these idiots survive. Performances range somewhere from high school theater kids to an alien that thinks it knows what human emotion is thanks to soap opera reruns. That’s at least somewhat funny and enjoyable. There’s also awkward banter that is far removed from feeling natural. It’s mean-spirited, kind of boring and undeniably amateur. Having said that, some of the violence is my kind of backyard splatter and Jon Turner has a fucking blast as the mountain-dwelling psychopath, relishing every moment of screen time he is blessed with. If you can get past the self-seriousness it wears like a pretentious coat made of very wet dog hair, you’ll find the kind of homemade grunginess and inanity us SOV lovers get entranced by. Even if it’s only in spirit, as it’s way too professionally shot to hit the all-important style of those basement wonders. So, an SOV splatter flick without the analogue aesthetic… I’m somewhere in a limbo here where I can appreciate its value and even begrudgingly love it in secret but can’t really recommend it. Take that as you will. Then that closing song plays over the final scene. Ya know what? Fuck it. Its heart is in the right place, I’m taking it out to dinner.
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