⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
Ridiculous Italian nonsense plays out like someone’s faded memory of an inebriated viewing of Evil Dead that they got mixed up with a horrific wet dream. A young vacationing couple get their stupid asses lost in the Alps in the realm of a witch with a hairy monster arm up her vagina, waiting to strike. She forces herself into the lives of the lovebirds by jumping at their car, claiming she was attacked and because they’re not complete dickholes, they offer to drive her to the village. They come across a horror author on a motorcycle who speaks with a voice box. Upon seeing him, the hitchhiker runs off and the author fills the two out-of-towners in on the cursed and demonic history of the creepy village they’re walking through. He claims the supernatural evils of old are back thanks to everyone forgetting about them and the robot-voiced coot just may be onto something. An early victim pops back up as a pissed-off zombie and everyone acts like the dimmest of dimwits. They meet back up with the woman and she invites them to stay overnight at a house in the middle of the forest and because our heroes may not be dickholes but are still morons, they agree. Black slime to the face gets the boyfriend very sick, a POV demon cam stalks the area and there’s a malicious tree attack that leads to a decapitation and some ping pong eyeballs for our silly witch. Rocks sever hands and the acting comes off as almost otherworldly (that’ll happen when you get your Italian actors to perform in English) as we share the fever dream of a horror fan finally succumbing to dementia. Confusion doesn’t even begin to cover it but I sure as hell had a good time with this splattery spaghetti nightmare.
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