The Secret of the Loch (1934) (UK)

⭐️⭐️

Professor Heggie is labeled as a crackpot for his beliefs concerning a Scottish legend, so he sets out to prove the existence of Nessie and a young reporter smells himself a scoop of epic proportions. Locals are well-aware of the monster lurking in the depths but have a bit of embarrassment thanks to how the rest of the world views and dismisses them. Our dear Heggie assures them that they have nothing to be ashamed of and that it’s impossible for those outsiders to ever really know what they are experiencing. Of course, a bar full of Scotsman is easier to assuage than a stuffy room full of learned buttholes. Plenty of shouting and words like “pigheaded” and “charlatan” are thrown around all willy nilly. The ruckus is impressive enough to catch the attention of a young reporter looking to make a name for himself so he insists on tagging along with the professor to grab an exclusive. He’s refused with the warning that if he shows up, he won’t be leaving alive. The reporter ignores this. The locals share stories, some share threats and plenty of drinking happens. Mr. Anderson’s journalistic snooping has him coming across the professor’s grandfather Angela and they catch some feels for each other. Mistaken identity, an elusive “great cave”, a Scotsman named Angus, dorks acting like idiots, a death, a trial and a whole bunch of time spent in the local pub. It ends with the reporter setting out to prove the existence of the creature so he can clear the professor’s name and marry his granddaughter. Historically important as one of the first films to take a chance at tackling the Loch Ness Monster legend which supposedly had been sighted as early as the 7th century (although skeptics debate the authenticity of most of the early encounters) but gained worldwide fame a year prior thanks to a 1933 article by Alex Campbell. The same year of the Spicer and Gray encounters. ‘34 would give us Grant’s encounter and the famous “Surgeon’s photograph” which has been accepted as a damn successful hoax. As a cryptozoology buff, this means the film already had a leg up into my good graces. The comic hijinks of our possibly sociopathic journalist are as grating as one would expect and the viewer spends plenty of time hoping some Highlander blows his trespassing ass away with a large rifle. Alas, we are not so fortunate. Most of the film is spent on comedy that doesn’t always work (although one photograph mishap got a chuckle out of me) and a script that spends way too much time with the obnoxious reporter and not the interesting study of the Loch and the mentally unstable men of science hunting it. We do get some antique diving gear, wonderful “underwater” footage, delightful doggies, plenty of fog, the curmudgeonist of curmudgeons and the hilarious climactic monster encounter brought to life via back-projected iguana.