As the last outing ended with the reveal of the true killer and a middle finger to the audience with “To Be Continued” splashed across the screen, I put on a brave face and prepared to watch a Dustin Ferguson movie immediately following a Dustin Ferguson movie. Not all heroes wear capes but this hero did pour himself a hefty glass of Basil Hayden Toast (it’s 10 AM somewhere!) to help out. The final minutes of Part 4 play out and we join last-lady-standing Raven as she sleeps and dreams of that fateful trip to the woods. This, naturally, leads to extended footage of her mother showering. Raven, naturally, goes for a long walk. Thank god it’s all caught on camera! This walk brings her to a Halloween shop where she looks around and tries on some shit. Thank god it’s all caught on camera! Wait. This is all very familiar. Raven seems to be handling the slaughter of her friends, current and ex boyfriend pretty well but she does tell one of her remaining friends that she is seeing a therapist. Coolduder shows up to talk on the phone again because the world is a cruel and awful place. Raven and her mom watch TV (hit that footage of Things and whatever other Sterling Entertainment tape was available because why make your own movie when you can just spend a ridiculous amount of runtime showing your characters watch something else… I’m jealous and wait, this feels really familiar) and then Raven stares at her reflection the next day. Two dinks out walking get murdered by someone in a clown mask and then we join Raven explaining the plot of the last film to her therapist. Of course, Dustin Ferguson uses this as an excuse to fill more runtime with footage from his last fucking movie. We are almost at the fifty minute mark and there’s mostly been no point but to show footage from other movies. We even get the opening scene from Part 4 that Raven was not connected to. With about ten minutes left in the movie, Raven decides to head back to Camp Blood and prove that the real killer clown is still wandering the woods. Another giant FUCK YOU from Dustin Ferguson wins at being impressively lazy and almost completely pointless. Thank god for the bourbon and the ability to fast forward the large chunk of this movie that is just the prior movie.
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