Chaz Bono gets the “AND” credit. Finally, a film brave enough to treat Chaz Bono as the shining beacon of hope that he is. Besides serving as a vehicle for The Chazster, the plot of the film concerns a secluded campground and the history of vanished folks centered around it. Thanks to the pre-credits, we know some bald dude with a medieval ax dishes out violent death to anybody who “rings the bell”. Next up we join a small group of filmmakers arriving at the mobile home of the main chode’s little brother. There’s some family stuff there but who cares. The blonde girlfriend of the older brother is the director and they’re making a documentary on urban legends. Big bro is the cameraman, some vain chick is the host and there’s another guy there who introduces himself with a “Deez nuts” joke so I could not care less what the hell he does. A young woman is looking for her brother (we saw his head get chopped off before the credits rolled) and heading towards his last know location. The filmmakers run into her at your standard creepy-ass gas station with unfriendly locals (Bonnie Aarons showing up) and learn of her missing brother. The younger brother Liam goes all googly-eyed for her. They also run into some rangers (I see you, Bono!) who are concerned about their destination. The usual warnings about a murderous ghost follows but it’s all ignored because that’s just how things go. “HE EATS SOULS AND SHITS BLOOD!” doesn’t exactly scare one the way you would hope. Virgin sacrifices and Hellish gateways being forced open sound less likely. Liam doesn’t like the area and the folks he’s being forced to be around aren’t all that great. Director Dipshit rings the bell (as the crew cheer her on) and the bald executioner awakens. He’s played by Randy Couture so at least he’s intimidating although he does resemble a boxer from the 1920s so maybe like a super tough resident of Portland kind of intimidating. Possession happens, motivations are revealed and people die. If bloody ears, orange contacts and white face paint are your thing, this may offer some joy but as it is, this kind of comes off like an abandoned Supernatural script that was rightfully discarded for not offering much entertainment value. The two leads are kind of likable and I did have some fun watching Couture bring the beatdown to some demons (he also gets to give a big ‘ol history lesson with cheap effects flashback), so it ain’t a complete waste. Also, Chaz Bono was there blowing the head off of a demon with a shotgun and I can’t say that about too many low-effort horror films.
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