Collecting thirteen sacred relics from the tomb of Prince Horus-Kan, a group of thieving occultists (The Pharaohs of Darkness) harness these items to increase their supernatural powers. Well, Horus-Kan may be three thousand years old, but he ain’t gonna take this insult standing down. Up he rises and goes on a collecting and murdering spree. This puts two dumpy detectives (Blake and Crawford) on the case and trying (and mostly failing) to stop the dead thing’s reign of terror. A narrator lets us know what’s going down so we don’t have to try to figure out any god damn thing for ourselves… it’s fine, it features a flash of a fire goddess who may be a local stripper and I’m oddly comfortable with that. It also uses poorly presented comic book panels to get around filming some of the bits that may have been outside of their ability to show and stuff that they just didn’t have the time to explain. What is it about Colorado and cheapjack horror mixing so damn well? Is it the elevation? The marijuana? The extensive amount of breweries? Maybe something in the water? Who knows, I’m just glad these folks get how to have fun with low-rent monsters. The mummy looks ugly as all hell and it’s wonderful. Lookin’ like someone wrapped bandages around and dried out The Haunted Mask from the Goosebumps show. So that ugly bastard wanders around with a nasty lookin’ blade, visiting the poor dopes who collected his things and taking them out with brutal efficiency. He shoots bandages out of his fingers to wrap up the dinks and then chops their noggins off. I dig that, no matter how cheaply it’s pulled off. There’s child psychics, trippy sequences involving that fire-stripper (or fire goddess Sekka or something) I mentioned earlier, houses that I think I’ve crashed on the couches of, alleys I’ve probably thrown up in, lightning bolts shot from fingers, locals serving as actors and not a mean bone to be found anywhere. Dennis Vincent’s heart is in the right place and it’s beating in rhythm with my monster-kid ass, which helps when the budget doesn’t align with one’s vision. If Mr. Vincent is releasing more flicks, you can just mainline it right into my dumbass veins. Creativity and monsters… it’s all you really need… especially if you’re from Colorado, apparently.
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