A military plane crashes in a densely forested area and a genetically engineered, giant, acid-puking and man-eating snake escapes, murdering a couple camping lesbians and then making its way to a nearby small town. The acid-destroyed corpse of one of the women turns up and gets the local police force looking for a psychopath. Suspicion falls on the recently returned home cycling enthusiast, John, because of his job at a local chemical plant but mostly because he’s now seeing Deputy Greg’s (a game William Zabka) former girlfriend. The snake’s slightly insane creator (Robert Englund) heads to the small town with a pube-stached and vaguely southern-accented special agent played by my hero Casper Van Dien. Englund hopes to preserve his baby but Van Dien wants to wipe it out. They show up, claiming to be from the NSA and tracking a psychotic super soldier who has recently escaped their custody. Questionable cgi and an even more questionably purple-haired Wil Wheaton make an appearance. More than a few familiar faces pop in and everyone seems to be having a good time. It’s crap but it’s not hurting anyone.
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