Looking to get to the bottom of a string of disappearances, a team of filmmakers venture into the Banning Tunnels. The tunnels are an underground maze with a bad history, a worse reputation and something else… something very dangerous. In case you skipped over the title because you’re a fuckin’ weirdo, there’s lizard people down there too. A civilization of reptile/human hybrids that have no issue with munching on some human flesh have called the tunnels home for years. Based on true accounts because the truth has never been important and you can just claim whatever the hell you want to. There’s text to open things up about the dangers of lizard people and how humanity is in trouble and then interviews with family and friends talking about lizard people and posing as government insiders who know a thing or two about lizard people. The group of college filmmakers excitedly journey underground to shine a light on one hell of an urban legend. Luckily for us, they’re all annoying and don’t seem to like each other much. Wait. Ah fuck. A mentally disabled homeless man tries to stop them from journeying any deeper but he’s ignored and the unlikable idiots march on. Man, I wish the lizard people were eating these dinks. The lizard children finally show up and it’s definitely not worth any waiting you’ve done or any time you’ve spent with these ill-mannered pieces of driftwood. If this is what we’re fighting for, we should just lay down and let the lizard people take over.
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