Back on that W.A.V.E. shit and I feel like I’m sinking. The kind of gals you’d find in the personals section of a discount porno mag get naked and get killed as they act their little hearts out but drown in horrendous dialogue mixing with a general lack of talent. It’s W.A.V.E., you knew what was coming. A hit-woman tortures a naked woman (Debbie D) with a gun, shooting her in her legs and then delivering a kill shot to the left breast. She laughs, expresses her love for her job and then states “And now to collect my money.” At least we know her motivation. That night she dreams about cat fighting and being drowned in a pool. Nipples and more dialogue that only an alien writing speech for a human would come up with litters the screen. She’s visited by the echo-voiced ghost of her victim, seeking revenge. This leads to a bathtub drowning and more dumb dialogue but this time it has an echo effect attached to it. I’m impressed. Are you impressed? The hit-lady wakes up in the tub with no idea how she got there. She cries and towels off but leaves her clothes on. Ok. The ghost comes back and keeps on fucking her killer’s day up. Belt choking followed by waking up in confusion, face punching followed by waking up in confusion and finally the killer is attacked in the same way her victim was killed. A retired police officer shows up and narrates why he is there. I guess his investigation of a missing girl has opened a can of worms concerning murders and disappearances. Turns out the killer had a massive stroke and some guy in a pumpkin mask pops up to tell us this is her curse due to her awful deeds. The wet and naked woman wakes up in bed as dramatic and intense music plays. Like, something left on the cutting room floor for a Batman movie or something. She slowly rises and puts on a shirt… the music is still going. Some guy drinks coffee… the music is still going. The no-longer-nude woman talks to the coffee drinker who is upset he has to work because his coworker quit. The woman is not happy either. He’s sorry but he’s gotta work. The woman makes a phone call and sets up a meeting at a hotel with her lover… the dramatic music starts up while this is happening. She comes home to find her husband waiting for her, mighty upset that she was gone. Everyone’s sorry about being angry and not being around. He’s trying to get his ice cream stand going… that’s why he’s so fed up. You know where this is going right? Again, it’s W.A.V.E., you should have known better to expect much of anything. Repetition forms a harsh cycle of dream logic but not the kind of dreams where someone with a vibrant imagination brings insanity to life, the kind of dreams that a closeted 80-year-old conservative judge has to convince Jesus he doesn’t like having sex with men and still thinks the Old Testament is the law to live by. I don’t even know how long this was supposed to be but it felt like days. It’s W.A.V.E, I knew what I was getting into.
No comments:
Post a Comment