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Saturday, April 11, 2026

Do Not Open (2026) (USA)

⭐️⭐️


With their relationship feeling the strains of life and longevity, a married couple retreat to a secluded cabin to work on things and take a little break from their current crap. There’s only one rule they are to follow and it’s to stay the hell out of the locked room at the end of the hall marked “Owner’s Closet”. Proving that even when you’re in your fifties, curiosity can get the better of you, Ethan begins to fixate on what is being hidden behind the door. Whispers, shadows and moving objects spiral into his current obsession with the mysterious room and we see why there’s relationship strain as his poor wife deals with his character flaws. Claire can snipe too but she’s pretty great considering the dope she ended up with. Eventually things get a little too weird and the couple decide to get the fuck out of the place but whatever the hell it is behind the door has other plans. The two have an easy chemistry which helps as we watch the slow deterioration of Ethan’s sanity as it seems something evil is behind the door and messing with him. I’m always down for a horror film the puts up older protagonists against whatever genre threat is conjured by a budget-conscious filmmaker and the rural setting (Mayo, FL if you must know) has a solid quiet vibe that just kind of works with the lulling attitude of the movie. The initial setup of Ethan’s fixation on the locked door feels like something that could be a segment from I Think You Should Leave and I just couldn’t help snickering at Ethan’s tantrums picturing Tim Robinson losing his mind over a room he can’t access. It’s a very slow time but you try moving fast in your fifties, especially in the Florida heat. It’s not annoying, it’s just not much of anything.

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