⭐️⭐️⭐️
Universal Cryogenics is doing good business as they freeze the recently deceased with hopes of thawing them out at the time a cure for their ailments is discovered. If you got the money, I can see the allure of courting immortality. The main problem is “can science actually bring a human body back to life and grant it a normal existence?” Outside of the ethical question of playing God, there’s no guarantee the subject will be able to live any semblance of his or her prior life. These questions won’t matter anyways because a power outage (a scenario which it would seem a fucking Cryogenics company should be prepared for even if it is all because of a rare direct lightning strike) has the security staff moving the corpsicles outside where it’s cooler. We can all collectively slap our foreheads here. It’s supposed to be pretty cold outside but there’s a thunderstorm going down and of course the metal canisters are prime targets for a lightning strike. Lightning rods filled with corpses is always a problem and sure enough, this leads to the dead being brought back to life and they are not happy. Ya see, the head of the business (a wonderfully sleazy Troy Donahue) has been getting up to no good. He’s been harvesting the organs of his clients and selling them off to some shady contacts in Mexico. The green cryogenic fluid he’s been injecting into the corpses has added to the aggressive nature of these once dead fiends. Bad news for anyone unlucky enough to be in the building, this includes our sleazy Dr. Miller, his kind-hearted secretary Mary (Linda fuckin’ Blair, cute as ever), her new emotional support buddy and company client Joseph Davenport (whose awful son has just been fatally shot in one of the most pathetically presented bank robberies in history) and laid back security sergeant Vince Marlow (the always impressively bearded Dan Haggerty). Dumb as fuck zombie movie takes a stance against cryogenics through hilarious melodrama, awkward performances, cheap gore and rubbery zombies rocking thermal blankets. So, it’s a winner. There are way more credible zombie films out there, there’s also way better garbage zombie films out there but none of those have Troy Donahue decapitating a zombie with a sword or a rescue via forklift operated by Dan Haggerty. Of course he’s forklift certified, he’s Grizzly fuckin’ Adams!
No comments:
Post a Comment