I wonder if there’s a special room in police storage where they hold all this discovered footage from social media idiots who vanish whilst investigating houses, hospitals and woods. There’s got to be. At the very least a national archive where they can go through these endless hours of footage, edit them down, add creepy music and then ship them off to Tubi so they can get a dozen people watching them in the hope that some poor fuck looking to kill an hour or so can identify just where the missing folks may be. If not, we’ve truly wasted the resources that me and probably six other bored idiots bring to the table. This time around, a batch of idiots live-streaming from a spot of local infamy figure out much too late that they probably should have just gotten a job in the food service industry because filming ghost videos for YouTube may get you some easy moola but you’ll always end up biting off way more than you can chew. A cop responds to a noise complaint and comes across some wiener in a clown mask holding a girl at knifepoint, unable to prevent anything, the girl gets her throat slit and the clown gets gunned down. The quartet of “serious” ghost hunters show up to the now abandoned home to get their investigating on. Shockingly, it’s not in found footage format… good for them. Their goal is to spend 8 hours locked in the location and find themselves some proof of the supernatural. The wiener in the clown mask was a serial killer named Lester who just snapped one day and started murdering young girls and now the dead wiener is back as a clown-masked ghost just as homicidal as he was in life. No longer needing to worry about the issues that come with corporeal form, old Lester can pop up wherever the fuck he wants as long as the budget allows. Getting them views, the crew fakes some shit to keep ‘em coming in but Lester makes it so it doesn’t become all that necessary. A small hidden room with a couple mannequins and some clown masks provide the first viewer-chosen challenge for the team. With one dude left in the room on his lonesome and some failing tech, the team realize things may be getting mighty sticky. Idiots are gonna idiot and a frightening Ouija board experience almost gets their intern exiting the premises but the team stays intact and pays the price for it. I could have stopped writing many sentences ago and you would have known what was happening. These flicks don’t stray too far from the path. The only thing this one shifts is that it is not completely from the POV of the cameraman and the ghost has a clown mask. It’s fine but it doesn’t veer in any direction over the line of so-bad-it’s-mildly-enjoyable-crap or shockingly-adequate-indie-surprise to be more than forgettable. It does feel longer than it is… so… oooph.
No comments:
Post a Comment