⭐️⭐️1/2
Thirteen years ago an eye-patched psychopath had himself a little murder spree and now that man is back and targeting a fresh set of horny folks. The opening murder of two promiscuous dinks lets us know this lunatic had himself a hook and was obviously into urban legends. The man is caught soon after and thrown into an asylum. Thirteen years later he escapes, grabs his hook (conveniently displayed by his doctor), leaves a message letting them know the food there sucks and makes his way back to his old titular stomping grounds… or does he? Don’t matter anyways, it’s still nothing but bad news for a group of your standard high school victims-to-be. One of them is the daughter of the pre-credits female victim, also the cheating wife of a police officer-now-sheriff. It’s Valentine’s Day and they’re heading to lover’s lane to get their party on. The adults are also dealing with the mental anguish of that nightmare from the past coming back into their lives and worrying about what that may mean for their kids. Poor decision making allows the dopes to get themselves picked off and when they discover two of their number dead, they crash their only means of escape as they flee. The principal (whose husband was the one cheating with the sheriff’s wife and also got his ass hooked) and the sheriff team up when they find out their kids are off partying. It’s a simple slasher with a sense of humor that at least tries to put an emphasis on characters and most importantly it features national treasure Anna Faris as a new girl in school (and seemingly unable to part with her cheerleader uniform) and also one of those teens under the hook. The splat factor is nothing to write home about but the year of release should have had you expecting that. At least it never feels lazy. I won’t call it good but it is better than expected and has a memorably silly denouement.
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