A small nowhere town somewhere in America gets hit hard with the scourge of vampirism after a sultry vampiress (it’s Lucy… No. Not from the Peanuts comics, from Bram Stoker’s novel) sets up shop to use her master’s blood and a geneticist’s talent to clone Dracula back into existence. He ain’t that happy to be back but the hunger gets him on the prowl anyways. The town full of conspiracy nuts is convinced the genetics lab is causing vampirism and… yeah… they’re kinda right but they’re still assholes. Dracula tries to get the scientist to reverse his curse much to Lucy’s chagrin and a fat sheriff roams around, doddering into one bad situation after another. A group of hikers get lost on a trail and wake up in a stranger’s home, wondering how the hell they got there. They don’t seem that concerned and enjoy some breakfast before searching for their host. “Macho” Hank annoys and everyone else in the group of idiots fails to really leave any impression. They eventually meet their host… Mr. Vlad and succumb to his vampiric ways. I guess it’ll be up to our husky officer of the peace to save the day. Overacting, underacting, non-acting and acting that somehow combines all three makes it feel like you’re watching a Shakespeare in the Park production you stumbled upon after suffering head trauma and Randal Malone pops up as a rhyming town coroner to remind you that you are definitely trapped in a low-budget hell. Its heart is in right place and there’s enough likable aspects to keep you floating just above boredom.
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