As idiots are known to do, a trio of high school graduates wander out into the vast forests of Washington and are never seen again. One year later, mine excavators recover a camera and some answers come from the footage recovered but there’s also some troubling questions birthed from the last actions of the friends caught on camera. Ken, Eric and Logan are the right age to annoy the ever-livin’ fuck out of me and they get right to it after the opening text lets us know they are no longer living… at least we know there’s a happy ending. Why these three dopes are pulling a Survivor Man for a month can be blamed on youthful ignorance but these dudes are definitely ill-prepared for the excursion into the wilds. They probably wouldn’t have made it, even if the creature from Internet folklore wasn’t wandering around. The annoying cameraman is complimented by the annoying everyone else to create an excruciating experience that doesn’t even last an hour but feels like it’s at least the length of the Das Boot director’s cut. The incessant yammering of our cameraman poisons our ears in between stories that have some importance to the plot and I’m beginning to think that fifty minutes is not short enough. Unfortunately, the cameraman makes it through night one and discovers Logan is missing. Like a true professional, he starts freaking out and the two remaining idiots wander deeper into the woods. Something that makes high-pitched screaming noises starts stalking them and it needs to get its pasty ass around to putting these dinks out of my fucking misery. The threat is cool, the setting is cool but the characters are an endurance test.
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