⭐️⭐️1/2
The Dream Slayer and Mama Voorhees’ Baby Boy finally meet and the results are… well, they’re just kind of ok. You can’t really expect more from something that had several iterations spend so much time in development hell that it was almost as forgotten as that razor-gloved crispy coot. The Springwood parents have finally figured out how to beat the supernatural slasher and all they had to do was dope up their children with a dream suppressant (Hypnocil, which Dr. Funke's 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution had no affiliation with) and lock up the folks who had encounters with him in the mental ward. You stop dreaming, you forget the monster and then you can no longer dream of something that has faded from memory. Sure. Why not? But ol’ Freddy has been plotting in whatever Hell he calls home and he figures he can use the easily-manipulated murder machine that is Jason to strike fear in the children of Elm Street and get that old Freddy Krueger spark lit once more. Freddy’s power grows as our heroes begin to remember but the problem is, the hockey-masked beast is incredibly efficient at slaughtering so Mr. Krueger is suffering from the slasher equivalent of blue balls. So, the fight is on and it gets downright silly when we enter the dreamworld and Freddy finally has a chance against that tank Jason. The group figures they need to get Freddy into the real world and throw Jason at him, which leads to a climactic throw down akin to a hardcore match between a couple wrestlers who really hated each other and went out there to fuck some shit up… basically New Jack versus New Jack. Katharine Isabelle graces us with her presence but like most of the other recognizable faces in this bad boy, (Zack Ward, Brendan Fletcher, Lochlyn Munro) is given very little material to work with. Monica Keena and Jason Ritter are easy enough on the eyes as the heroes if not all that memorable and Christopher Rodriguez Marquette garners some sympathy as the requisite nerd amongst the group of survivors. There’s also some lame-ass pothead who really wants to be Jason Mewes and the less said about Kelly Rowland’s grating performance the better. It will always be great to see Robert Englund. Still, it’s fun enough and knows exactly what it wants to be which doesn’t make for much awkwardness in its slasher blueprint. It also gets pretty damn ridiculous in its fight scenes, wire stunts shouldn’t work this well when it comes to two legendary slashers throwing down but I’m here smiling like an asshole.

No comments:
Post a Comment