Classic Amicus production based off of the infamous EC comics finds five folks lost in a crypt during a tour and crossing paths with the mysterious Crypt Keeper. Passing time until he can show them the way out, he relates five tales of the macabre to our collection of strangers, all of them pointing towards doom in their own futures. Certified smokeshow Joan Collins murders her husband on Christmas Eve and is soon terrorized by an escaped lunatic dressed as Father Christmas. His appearance makes it difficult to cover up her crime and get the authorities to come to the rescue but that may not matter anyways once her daughter decides to open the door for some Christmas cheer. And All Through the House banks itself on its stellar lead in the fabulous Joan Collins who brings the ice to her cold hearted performance with a level of perfection that just guarantees she’s having a blast. It also makes it all the more fun when everything goes to hell… set to a soundtrack of Yuletide favorites. A solid opening to everything that sets up the black humor and demented comeuppance to expect. Reflection of Death follows the exploits of a husband and father planning to leave his family for his mistress. He drives out during the night under the excuse of an early appointment, never planning on returning. A terrible car accident throws a wrench in his plans but Carl seemingly makes it out in one piece. Of course, the world of EC justice does not allow for happy endings when it comes to infidelity. Minor tale is easily forgotten because there ain’t all that much to it, which is fine when you’re working in the world of anthologies. Peter Cushing gives one of his best performances as a lonely old man who rubs a snooty young property owner the wrong way. He despises that his neighbor across the road collects rubbish, is charitable to the village children, has a group of dogs and refuses to sell out because of his sentimental attachment to the property. The dickhead decides to wage some psychological warfare on the man, getting his dogs removed, getting him fired from his job, starting awful rumors about his treatment of the kids and then sending insulting Valentine’s Day letters to the old man supposedly from the townsfolk. Suicide follows and the property is soon easily acquired. The title Poetic Justice is there for a reason and it turns out the old man dabbled in the occult to commune with his dearly departed. Now he’s got a Valentine’s treat coming for the asshole that drove him to hang himself and being a corpse won’t hold him back from delivering it. A suitably slimy antagonist and a completely sympathetic turn from Cushing makes for an extremely fulfilling piece of cosmic justice. Another minor story follows in Wish You Were Here but it sure as shit features one hell of a sting of the tail. Serious debt weighs heavy upon a dishonorable businessman and it’s looking like he’s running out of options to pull himself up. A statuette acquired has the ability to grant three wishes and he and his wife are about to get Monkey Paw’d to a horrible ending. It also features of motorcyclist with a cool skull mask. Finally (well, before our “protagonists” realize the inevitable reveal) Nigel Patrick plays the deliciously terrible Major Rogers who runs a home for the blind with a level of authority that moves well past coldness and right into abuse. Patrick Magee leads the group of visually impaired folks who are beginning to drop thanks to their new superintendent and his penny-pinching and downright heartless methods. Well, revenge is coming and it is suitably vicious. Blind Alleys is a perfect final chapter in an excellent collection of terror. It’s easy to see why Amicus would become known for there portmanteau films (although Tales was not their first) and produce a few more gems before closing shop.
No comments:
Post a Comment