⭐️1/2
Horrible teenagers come to violent ends and a retired cop lends a helping hand (well, steps on the toes of the actual detective because he’s an ass of the old school variety) to an inexperienced local detective to put an end to the rising body count. The dead teens got all of this awfulness put on them when a prank their parents played ended up disfiguring the son of a local undertaker however many years ago. Now the annoying youngsters are being butchered and displayed for their families to find as some kind of demented prank. Payback is a bitch, even if it’s misplaced. The ex-cop is in town because he’s looking to build a relationship with his estranged granddaughter who is also on the chopping block to answer for the shitty behavior of her father. Annoying editing, characters, dialogue and plotting are drowned in gore as the large psychopath gets his revenge with whatever instrument of destruction he has handy. Thick New York accents meld perfectly with the repetitive butt-rock or lazy instrumentals to create a world that I sure as shit want no part of. Much like me, most of the cast looks and acts like they had to partake in copious amounts of booze to get through this movie. There’s some bewbs and low-grade graphic splat but as I’ve long since passed over my early teens, that ain’t gonna make for an entertaining time anymore. I’ll give it points for casting an actual grandpa as a grandpa (this one looks like Bill Hinzman if Bill Hinzman was getting progressively angrier and enjoyed kicking puppies… so, hailing from New York and not Pennsylvania) and at least they put a mask on their killer that looks like it was haphazardly thrown together as opposed to quickly picked up from the discount rack at a Halloween shop but there is a whole bunch to hate about this one. There’s also a mentally challenged and overweight janitor, so you can mark that on the old lazy slasher bingo card.
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