What in the holy fucking seven hells did I just watch? Chopped and cropped to blissful incoherence, Wicked Wife is a completely lunatic film. A sexy widow opens up a successful restaurant/whorehouse (I think) just as a string of tiger murders plague a small town. Behind the murders is an angry young woman with the power to transform into said big-cat (I think). She’s doing away with an evil sorcerer’s gang with the assistance of the sexy widow (I think). The sorcerer’s preferred method of murder is to use poisonous centipedes on his victims. Stuck in the middle of all this insanity is a young man searching for his missing fiancée and in the employment of the sorcerer (maybe?). All of this awesomeness takes a backseat to the “romantic” plot line of the young man and may very well stretch your patience to the breaking point. Of course, if you can tough it out and ride the weird-ass vibes, you will be rewarded with sped up kung-Fu, needless gymnastics, whip violence, magic water, a hilarious dub job performed by some of the worst voice actors I’ve ever encountered and a quickly dispatched zombie. Trash fiends with no need for logical storytelling will find themselves in heaven, all others may want to steer clear before their brains melt. I loved it.
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