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The dangers of breaking a gym membership are explored in great detail when the natural evolution of fitness obsession finally melds with murder and Satanism. Benson’s Health Spa is a dump and just about to turn the lights off for good. The three gym members are pretty bummed but what ya gonna do? A shadowy man in a wide-brimmed hat (who we have seen earlier murdering someone who broke her contract) shows up to offer the owner a chance to turn her gym into a viable business. All the mystery man asks for is her loyalty and the loyalty of the customers she brings in. She accepts the offer of Mr. Ex and then he heads off to kill more people. A journalist gets a scoop when her friend Marsha finds her in a panic and lets her know that a creepy man is after her. Her mother was the one murdered in the opening scene and her sister has gone missing. It all followed a deal that was too good to be true for her mother’s business. Uh oh. Marsha vanishes from the supposed safety of her friend’s home. Benson opens up her gym and business is booming. Her guarantee of a perfect form or you pay nothing is too good to pass up and the so-called “Plan Ex” can give you everything you’ve ever wanted for your personal health. The reporter and her buff coworker look for the missing Marsha but it seems she no longer exists and her apartment is being lived in by someone else claiming he’s been there for decades and her college professor claims he has no idea who she is and she was never enrolled. Another reporter joins the health spa to see if it’s legit and when she mentions the strange Mr. Ex, our hero recognizes the description of the sinister man who was after her friend. Hunky dude happens to have invented a “Devil-busting” computer program as a joke for his preacher father and I’m sure that’ll come in handy down the line… I mean, Mr. Ex is constantly checking his own computer which gives a helpful corruption percentage and orders from his masters. But I’m getting way ahead of myself because there’s a lot of minutes in the runtime and a bunch of questionable comedy, weirdo performances and lo-fi violence. It’s the best way to kill time in a homegrown slice of backyard bizarreness. Nobody will be earning any award for performances but that doesn’t matter, they all craft semi-interesting weirdos who may be practicing humanity for the first time. It’s a rare thing when I don’t really want to see any of the future victims bite it, no matter how unconvincing they may be at drama. There’s plenty of conversations to nod off to and plenty of villainy that would have been mustache-twirling if Mr. Ex had facial hair but I guess he may have looked too much like a heavy in a western TV show from the sixties if he had a soup catcher. Instead he kind of resembles an eighties businessman who moonlights as a Pilgrim. So stretch them joints as the film stretches out the runtime but if ya have a taste for thrills from the Blood Cult school of genre horror, you can have yourself a good ol’ time with this supernatural silliness. “There’s something out there and it took my beans!”
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