Cavewomen and slashers, a match made in heaven. It’s one million B.C. and Kadeem Haridison is narrating that the B.C. Butcher is terrorizing the area. We then get a title song about it. So it’s all covered for us now. Dina, one of the cavewomen, is facing harsh punishment for going after the tribe leaders two-timing mate Rex. Dina is pregnant with Rex’s child and after sharing that, she is eviscerated and cannibalized by the valley girl cavewomen. A legendary disfigured caveman discovers the corpse of Dina and falls in love with it. So homicidal revenge is now on the brute’s primitive brain after she visits him in his dreams and tells him to avenge her. A blind Jamaican prophetess predicts doom but is ignored by the tribe. It’s a stupid movie that knows it’s stupid and it would work if it was actually funny. Instead it feels like anything else Lloyd Kaufman got his grubby producer hands on and spoiled any entertainment that should have come from it. I mean, the best thing about it is the performance from Kato Kaelin… yes… Kato Kaelin is actually pretty damn funny in this. The monster mask is perfect in how cheap it is and the girls are easy on the eyes but this style of knowing idiocy just ain’t my scene. Fortunately, it only runs 51 minutes. Unfortunately, that’s still too long.
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