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UK horror icon Chrissie Wunna is the first thing you see when the movie opens. Well played. I love me some Wunna, she’s like the new queen of British trash horror. Unfortunately, since the credits haven’t even hit, I got a feeling she won’t be around long. She and some dude mention that “She” is gone and the duo look a little worse for wear. She watches on in horror as the man she’s with gets attacked by a woman in the mirror and is helpless as his throat is slit (or he’s just coughing up a bunch of blood, it’s not exactly clear). Wunna screams to the heavens and the opening title hits. We join a quartet of young women reuniting for a wellness retreat. There’s already tension between a couple of them, so things are a little awkward even before the conflict kicks in. The four gals hike through the woods and find the posh retreat hidden away in the trees. They’re greeted by Chrissie Wunna (Hell yeah! She’s alive and rocking a red dress borrowed from an escort service closet!) who acts all mysterious and lets the ladies know they’ll have the whole lovely place to themselves. She doesn’t seem to know the first thing about what the wellness retreat should be offering but it’s obvious she’s under the thumb of something evil. The two gals who hate each other bicker and their put-upon friends attempt to mend fences so they can stop making separate plans and get their quartet back in working order. The first night in the building and one of the women removes a black sheet covering an antique mirror but that doesn’t lead to anything thrilling right away. There’s still the drama amongst friends to be discussed and more Wunna acting shady and upset that she has to be shady as the girls do yoga and hike. A leather-bound journal makes mention of Bloody Mary but that’s not much of a concern with teenage shenanigans and backstabbing to be discussed and argued about over wine around a bonfire. Wunna joins the group around the fire and tells the tale of Bloody Mary. The woods they now find themselves in are actually the birthplace of the legend. A witch named Mary Worth lived in the woods and seemed happy with her baby. The baby dies somehow and Mary gets blamed for a string of missing girls. The villagers’ suspicions were actually correct and Mary was in fact collecting the blood of virgins to bring back her baby. As she burned at the stake, she cursed the townsfolk and claimed that if anyone says her name in front of a mirror, she will appear and attack. The girls call bullshit on their host’s story so they decide to do the ritual and prove there’s nothing to fear. Yeah. Bad move. Wunna tries to escape after offering up the girls but finds it impossible and the girls meet bloody fates as Mary makes her way through them, ending in a sliced throat. Some more disposable meat shows up because gals can’t have all the fun. Wunna finally admits her sins and the surviving dopes realize the journal mentioned earlier may hold the key to defeating Mary. Also, strained relationships are restored… bonus! Bloody Mary has caked-on white makeup with some black and red around the eyes and as a fan of cheap-ass 60s and 70s horror, I dug the look. I probably enjoyed this more than most thanks to the “Wunna Factor” so you may not want to listen to me at all. I know it’s cheap and boring but the same has been said about me.
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