⭐️⭐️1/2
An incredibly rare woodpecker brings a dream team of bad actors out to the middle of some Louisiana swampland and places them in immediate mortal danger. Separated from their transportation, the LSU Raptor Rehabilitation Unit (LSURRU just rolls off the tongue), is forced to set up camp in a decrepit crap-shack that was the site of vicious quadruple homicide a couple decades ago. A Vietnam veteran returned home to find his wife in bed with another man. He took a knife to both their throats and when he was interrupted by grandma and grandpa returning his infant son, he killed them too. Immediately after dispatching the four poor souls, one of his pet hawks ripped his eyeballs out. This convoluted backstory allows for Robert Vaughn, in hilariously awful disfigurement makeup, to wander around the property until explaining everything in the film’s final minutes. Outside of the stupid backstory that stained the land, the gaggle of idiot college kids have to deal with some ghost zombies (that barely get any screen time) and supernatural fatal accidents. There’s a bit of fun to be had if you don’t ask why but the temptation to nap grows as the minutes tick by.
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