⭐️⭐️⭐️
Decades ago in Switzerland, a team of miners stumble across a cavern full of emeralds. This wealthy find is immediately diminished when colossal beetles attack and wipe out all but one of the men. Presently, intrepid explorer John Palmer (Christopher Atkins of Beaks and Shakma fame) is given the proposition by a mysterious man named Vincent (holy shit, it’s Colm Meaney!) to lead a team on an expedition to the abandoned Swiss mine. This cuts into the family vacation he was about to embark on in Greece. The large sum of money and the cottage just outside of the mine for his family help get John to take the job for Vincent. Of course, this expedition is about more than exploring and the promise of treasure amongst dangerous men can lead to problems. Not to mention, those big-ass beetles are still crawling around and wiping out trespassers. Team leader (and second in command) Marcel is the man with the plan and is not someone you want to screw with. He’s introduced getting his hands on the property and the map by ordering the torture and murder of the owner. David Palffy is definitely having a blast playing the bastard and it’s infectious. The always welcome Chelan Simmons is our hero’s daughter, lovely Angela Featherstone is his wife and he also has a son but he ain’t as easy on the eyes so I didn’t bother to learn who he was. He also disobeys his papa’s orders and goes exploring so he can put himself in danger… well, even more danger than his father has already put him in by accepting the job from less than reputable people. Chelan makes cutie eyes at the guy assigned to watch over the family while John and the team spelunk… he’s also an ice cold killer so everyone but the mother has horrible decision making skills. She also proves capable of sniffing out bullshit. Although, she is married to the man who put them all in this situation so maybe they all deserve each other. There’s laser guns, cgi monsters, stop-motion effects, butcher shop splatter and questionable decisions filling out the SyFy hijinks and it’s a way better time than a bunch of the others and far more enjoyable than the movie that inspired it (attempted to cash in on), The Cave. I came for the shoddy cgi beasties and the cutie Chelan Simmons, I stayed for the laser guns and the surly Colm Meaney.
No comments:
Post a Comment