Within the Woods (2005) (USA)

aka Camp Blood 3

⭐️⭐️1/2

Brad Sykes brings his time with Camp Blood to a close but fear not, filmmakers of diminishing capabilities would pick up where he left off a decade later and drag this series kicking and screaming into a sequel hell usually reserved only for famous slashers and, somehow, that haunted slab of property in Amityville. In this third outing (which does not get counted as an official third outing by Sterling entertainment who dragged Camp Blood well past the point of death) a reality program has contestants attempt to spend the night at the infamous Camp Blood. Whoever makes it gets to split the million dollar reward but the sleazy producer has more than a few tricks up his sleeve to weed out the players in their little game exploiting the deaths of several people. That will be the least of trouble for our heroes because you better believe the homicidal dope in the cheap clown mask returns and death comes with him. A sweet second grade teacher, a curious trust fund baby, a broriffic personal trainer, a wannabe musician and a tough goth chick awkwardly attempt human interaction as the producer watches on from his standard-issue bunker with monitors and jellybeans. Nudity provided by local strippers with the acting chops one would expect, violence provided by discount corn syrup and slashings provided by one of the laziest masks to ever be granted multiple films. If you’ve seen the first two, you know what to expect. It’s a cookie-cutter slasher with a script from Sykes that’s injects way more effort into it than anyone should rightfully expect. The man gives a damn and it makes his admittedly simple premises just a bit more enjoyable. A campfire catchup reminds me of those helpful F13 openings and it also offers up two more victims (and more boobs) for the murderous clown and the revelation that the sole survivor of the last two Camp Blood flicks became a killer herself. Night one leads to one dead trust fund kid and it doesn’t take long at all for these charisma voids to make nothing but stupid choices. The heroic shouting of “RUN! YOU STUPID BITCH, RUN!” and some hilariously pathetic hysterics from the teacher had me grinning as everything limped to its dumbass close. Still, when it comes to lazy slasher flicks of the aughts, it’s better than most.