Caminhos Macabros (2017) (Brazil)

aka The Evil Path

⭐️⭐️1/2

A secret beach in all of its uncharted splendor is the destination for five Brazilians (what a relief not having to spend my found footage flick looking at dudes who like giant toddlers with no physical hygiene, pube-stache tough guys, chicks who look like they googled “Hot Topic goth” before figuring out their character and ghost hunters who are somehow less believable than YouTube ghost hunters). They venture out to the place looking for a scenic weekend by hiking a forgotten trail and ignoring any signage that warns them to go away, turn back or any variation on “keep your asses out of here”. Drums in the dark have them spooked and the local they meet warns them of a mythological creature called the Caipora but because the main dude is a bullheaded asshole, he laughs it off and ain’t afraid about being rude to the guy who’s just trying to help he and his friends. On they march, confident that their weekend will be one without miniature pig-riding cannibals and death. All that remains of the group is uploaded footage that was being recorded by one of their number. A popular YouTube channel that focuses on unsolved cases is sent the video by the missing (and obnoxious) cameraman’s father (holding out hope that the kids are just pulling a prank for internet fame) and the duo get to digging. Parents in denial, grieving friends and a police force that has settled on the prank theory give few answers. This brings them to the same location and into a scenario where it’s looking less and less likely to avoid the same fate. Local folklore is always gonna spice up found footage in this dope’s eyes and I was ecstatic when the movie revealed what it was claiming to be the threat to our heroes. Unfortunately, it does almost nothing with it and all the solid buildup leads to a single jump (no tiny pig-riding cannibal, sadly) and footage of a memorial. I can’t hate it because it’s an ending that fits perfectly with the idea that this is real footage being worked with but as a fan of being satisfied with the spookshow bullshit of movies, well… it kinda blows.