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Freshly married Linda (business executive babe played by foxy as ever Pamela Sue Martin) and Jerry (played by naturally affable Tim Conway and missing his blue collar past) move their optimistic asses to the seemingly peaceful coastal village of Bay Cove located on Devlin Island. The charming spot would appear the perfect living situation for the young couple caught up in its centuries-old ways, escaping the hectic city for some damn peace. Welp, if the old timer who gets blown up by lighting while trying to confess his sins to a priest is any indication, shit ain’t copacetic in Bay Cove. In fact, the whole damn village is deep into witchcraft and are eagerly awaiting the reincarnation of their leader during the next full moon. Sacrifice and subjugation are in the cards and our young heroes are going to have to figure everything out to save their asses. Linda figures there’s something unsettling in the works much quicker than her bewitched husband and gets to digging into things while Jerry buys all into the village and its possibly immortal inhabitants. Woody Harrelson (as the couple’s best friend and semi-sleazy yuppy Slater), Jeff Conaway (who they meet in a club and lets them know of the island heaven he and his wife have just moved to) and fucking June Cleaver herself Barbara Billingsly (as the former home owner who now resides in a cottage on the property) show up to make me happy. Creepy neighbors turn out to not be swingers and just creeps, the family dog Rufus is unwelcome by all the locals, the locals are equally unwelcome by the adorable pup, an old coot sits stoically in an attic window across the street, the standard creepy little girl pops up (and a creepy boy too!), chants haunt the night air, a helpful book on the village history alludes to dark things festering, Jerry goes TV husband loony, Linda has a whole fucking community gaslighting her and an underground alter discovered far earlier into the movie runtime than expected really shouldn’t have been dismissed as easily as it is. Doesn’t help that Rufus dies immediately following the discovery of the cavernous alter with burning torches, a pentagram centerpiece and surrounded by bizarre relics. The TV movie atmosphere permeates every inch of this film and I welcome it with my arms outstretched. I also welcome the odd combo of Harrelson and Billingsly sharing the screen. Granted, Woody doesn’t get to do much before succumbing to an incredibly goofy car accident but I’m not complaining.
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