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Monday, October 19, 2026

Blood Gorge (2024) (USA)

⭐️⭐️


Looking to connect with the kind of Halloween fun they had as children, a group of friends head out from Detroit for some solitude and quiet Devil’s Night revelries. That proves to be a fatal mistake because someone in a cheap yet unsettling mask is picking ‘em off at his, her or their leisure. Although, since he/she/they has already done away with a few of them even before they leave, I guess if they had just stayed at home they would have been fucked as well. What follows is forty minutes of splatter at a backyard budget with a Midwest aura that just hits me in the warm and fuzzies. The characters are ass and irritating as hell but god do I hate to admit just how truthful they ring when it comes to that bored teenage bullshit. Wait. I don’t think they’re supposed to be teenagers… okay, twenty-somethings who have a lack of development. And they’re not long for this world, so… it’s a wash. The comedy is cringy but charming for being as daft as it is because it feels like all that horror-nerd, obnoxious goofing you found in dozens of SOV flicks that polluted my VCR growing up and the plot is exactly what one would expect. These charm-voids are meat for the butcher and little else. Massive head trauma, dildo strangulation, face smashing, guts stabbin’ and every other use for butcher shop throwaways these kids could find make it on screen. A disemboweling leads to a nicely-sweatered man mumble-crying “I need those! I need those!” I can appreciate that. It’s not amateur enough to get in that neighborhood insanity aura I usually fall in love with but it’s also not long enough to severely piss me off.

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