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Monday, October 19, 2026

Scarred (2005) (USA)

⭐️⭐️⭐️


Local legend holds that an abusive hick caught his wife finding love in the arms of a deformed trapper and killed the man. Wifey gave birth to a baby girl carrying the same deformity as her dead daddy. Your standard and vague lumpy face disease. Being a backwoods asshole, the pissed-off alcoholic idiot killed his wife, cut off his “not-daughter’s” lumpy face and burned his cabin down by setting himself and his moonshine on fire. Of course, the faceless gal now wanders the woods on the hunt for a face. We know this is more than a campfire tale because we’ve already seen the burn-victim-lookin’ lunatic attack a horny couple in the opening. Into the cursed land comes a camping family because the papa is attempting to force his teenage children (and the daughter’s best friend) to bond with his new trophy wife. This is a nightmare to bitchy daughter Kim who is about to find herself in a much more lethal nightmare than dealing with a new mom she wants nothing to do with. An elderly loon delivers the standard cryptic warning to the family once they arrive but he’s easily dismissed as a rambling nut because he does nothing to prove otherwise and looks like a homeless Tobin Bell. That night the derpily handsome local ranger stops by and delivers the backstory of the crazy woman to the five campers while someone watches from the trees. Minor bonding goes down between Kim and new-mom Heather as they awkwardly attempt peace and dad tries his best while still being horny for his special lady and caring for his daughter who is going through some shit. Oddly enough, the small family (and cute fried) are mostly likable which is a shame because Heather soon heads to an outhouse occupied by the faceless lady. The bigger shame is that losing one’s face doesn’t necessarily equal death so a victim in extreme pain can still be wandering around the woods, much worse off than they were before leaving the big city. The two eighteen-year-old gals go to party with the ranger at his cabin and Kim’s bestie heads back to camp as third-wheeling ain’t all that fun. Smoochin’ soon follows and Alex comes across Kim’s brother sleeping in the woods like a weirdo. She also has the hots for him so it all seems to be working out for the horny youths. Or it would be if, you know, there wasn’t a crazy woman without a face roaming the woods. Corny personal aspects work in contrast with a slasher idea that’s suitably gross but mostly left to the imagination (although the final face rip is displayed in all its drawn out awfulness and hits harder because everything else has mostly been hidden from view). Which is fine, as I’m not particularly sadistic when it comes to my subgenre viewing (Hell, Final Exam is one of my favorite slasher films and there’s almost none of the red stuff) and a fun idea can get your flick really far in my eyes. It’s nothing all that new but there is a low-key dementedness in play and surprisingly likable characters to keep it in my good graces.

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