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Walking venereal disease and novelist Tom Harris takes some time away from banging anything with two gams and a vagina to join his agent on an expedition to an island where voodoo is being practiced. The island’s name is Voodoo Island so that’s not just some racist guess on my part. It’s not just a trek about inspiration for his next novel, not at all, it’s mentioned to the likely very itchy Mr. Harris that a hurricane wiped out the island’s fishing fleet a few years back, leaving the female to male ratio at about five to one. The agent thinks the island would serve as a great setting for Tom’s next novel and the excitement of the island’s danger and strangeness is enough to impress the frustrated agent’s eccentric (unbearable) wife. The place is also home to a reclusive scientist who secluded himself from the public eye to work on cancer research and as we all know that’s way easier to do in a private villa surrounded by jungle that may or may not be crawling with the living dead. Yep. It all checks out. Off our ragtag group of “heroes” fly to a vacation spot riddled with dangers known and unknown with only enough fuel to barely make it to their destination. Ooops. The cancer researcher has discovered that by injecting natives with snake venom he can turn them into oatmeal-faced zombies with eyes that seem to be haphazardly painted ping-pong balls. I suppose that’s the next best thing to curing a horrible disease but I’m no scientist. The overseer of the island, Charles Bentley, is using these goofy zombies to his own nefarious ends and forcing the doctor to carry on with his work. Tom will be far too busy to poke the natives thanks to his lecherous eye zeroing in on the doctor’s daughter. He’s already seen what she has to offer thanks to a rescue attempt from a spying zombie with a machete while she was skinny dipping. This did lead to the decapitation of a local fisherman after warning the walking erection of an upcoming sacrifice but I guess you just can’t win ‘em all. Danger looks to be coming for Tom’s love life so he steps up to be a hero and to do this he’ll have to unmask the true evil on the island. There are bits of interest throughout the runtime but a lot of meandering and staleness rob it of being a true garbage classic. The low-jack zombie action is wonderful and I’m always a fan of sixties bikinis but I can’t imagine that this films ‘71 release date offered up much excitement to anyone who took this in when it got attached to the “Great Blood-Horrors Double Feature” with I Drink Your Blood. Hell, I can’t imagine outside of some leering sexiness and a graphic (and hilarious) decapitation that this bad boy would have offered up much excitement if it hadn’t sat on the shelf for six years. It’s a watchable curio but not much else.

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