Paranormal investigators tackle a Chicago apartment building with a sinister past. Legend has it that The Devil occupies the upstairs tenement… at least that’s what the emo-girl psychic says. Her pube-stached teammates take her word for it and get to investigating. Psychic girl has a vision in black and white of the former tenant. There’s knocks coming from a drain and some dope trying his damndest to look concerned. There’s also a whole bunch of establishing shots you’d find in a student film and also a sunbathing cat… that’s probably the best this movie will get. Continuous “artsy” camerawork annoys and the dopey renter sits around in silence and ponders. Tedious haunted house shenanigans attempt to relieve the tedious life of our flashback protagonist but outside of cat footage there ain’t much interest. Unless you’re really into people reading and staring off into the distance, you may tap out. The dope goes crazy in a spectacularly unconvincing manner, the film shifts to color and he has a vision of his own suicide with a pair of scissors. This makes him want to sell the house which I thought was an apartment and then we get black and white footage of traffic and walls. There’s also a drawn out shot of a lightbulb shot from below. We jump back in with the adventures of the amateur ghost hunters and get another psychic flashback. This one is about a woman named Beth who is renting the apartment that was supposedly a house. This too is in black and white because of the past or whatever. Beth also has cats although they are the same cats and seems to enjoy sitting around and pondering just as much as the prior tenant or homeowner or whatever he was. She finds a note on the ground from the dope and she looks concerned. I guess she knew the guy which explains the cats. The note warns her about going in the basement, the dangers of a wooden figure and tells her to get the hell out of the house which is not an apartment but really seems like one. Beth walks around in silence and stares at her reflection. She also stares out a window. Man, I wish I had this much time to do fucking nothing but I’m the idiot watching this so that’s on me. We get to watch Beth smoke a cigarette in real time and I swear those scissors are looking like a good way out of watching this. Beth doesn’t leave and ends up in the basement. She really sucks at following directions. The sound of bells drives her crazy or causes an asthma attack. Emo psychic picks up on one last idiot (lookin’ like a Temu MJF) who came to the apartment or house or whatever and the movie drags itself to the finish line. Fuck me. Thank god there were some cats in this. An ambling waste of time and one more reason to avoid this pretentious fucking city. Go stare out a window instead.
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