A little kid wanders around the woods and talks to himself about being a YouTube star. At a dilapidated house, he comes across a severed finger and excitedly decides to film it with his phone. He looks around the place and finds a digital camera. Watching it, we follow the journey of a reporter named Lisa Adams who is tracking down a missing person. Nobody wants to talk to her about the missing man except a young dude who lets her know that the last time Chris Wells was seen, he was heading towards the infamous Paul Pry Road. Arriving in the dark, she and her cameraman wander down the forested road and right to the old barn where that little kid found the camera and the severed finger. I don’t think I have to spell this out for ya. According to the chatter, Paul Pry was a serial killer who brought his victims to the abandoned farm. Why they decided to name a road after him is anyone’s guess. That’s city hall for ya. The duo find a human skull and freak out. This discovery has them planning to get out and call the police but when they come across a man tied up to a chair, they stop to help. It is the missing man but the rescue is short-lived when Paul Pry arrives. It doesn’t end well for the cameraman. The kid finds more severed limbs and decides he should probably go back home. We jump back to Chris Wells heading to a comedy show and getting stood up by his girl. If I was his girl, I would have stood up his annoying ass too. Chris picks up his buddy and they smoke some weed while acting like idiots. I guess he’s performing at the show. I feel really sorry for the audience. They drive on for what feels like forever and ad-lib for the benefit of nobody. A local weirdo points them in the direction of Paul Pry Road when they attempt to get some gas and even though it’s not showing up on the GPS, they head out that way. The local warns them about the dangerous Paul Pry (who, I remind you, has a road named after him) and they laugh it off. They follow a woman in distress who has no idea why she’s wandering around the area. She runs off from them and right into the arms of Paul Pry. Chris complains about trying to help this woman and Paul Pry comes for him and his buddy. I should mention that Paul Pry is wearing a cheap Leatherface mask. Not like a knockoff mask either, it’s definitely copyright infringement but I doubt anybody who would give a damn is watching this. The annoying dopes get bludgeoned and caught but unfortunately still find the time to ad-lib. This ends and we jump back to Lisa getting assigned the story. Why it’s built like this, I have no fucking clue but it’s admirable that it needlessly complicated its own pacing for the hell of it. It all eventually catches up to itself and broke-ass Leatherface gets to murder the minimal cast. I appreciate the build on a local legend, even if none of it makes much sense but all of this just feels like an idea that was thrown in the oven but removed before the temperature was even set.
No comments:
Post a Comment