Gloucester prison is reportedly one of the most paranormal locations in all of the United Kingdom. It’s easy to make this claim when there’s no scientific basis for anything except the self-fulfilling pseudo-science being used but I digress. A team of five paranormal investigators descend upon the haunted hotspot unaccompanied and, as paranormal investigators exploring the confines of a super haunted location are want to do, vanish without a trace. Well, there’s a trace and it’s this footage. Opening credits immediately tell you to do some stretching if you want to buy this as actual found footage and the footage of some guy watching a news report as electronic disruption happens pretty much takes that suspension of disbelief out back and fires a bullet into its head. Rambling introductions from the very British team let us know who we’ll be following around and the team reveals they landed on this location after reading favorable Google reviews. I found that hilarious. We spend time wandering around with the group as they make small talk and hear noises. So, the banality of ghost hunting is presented for you… the viewer at home. It seems that a team of ghost hunters shot uninteresting footage at an abandoned prison, realized there was no value to it and then decided to make the trip worth their time by attaching a bullshit psychopath plot to the proceedings in a desperate attempt to salvage a found footage horror flick out of it. The problem with building your half-baked story around meandering footage of walking around in the dark is that the meat of your adventure offers no real thrills… unless a moving ball gets your heart racing and loud bangs give you goosebumps because the laughing lunatic that eventually shows up just feels like it was shoehorned in for no good reason. If so, man it must be nice to be that easily amused. Good for you. I’m a little jealous. You will see a stainless steel colander used as a helmet for an electric chair, a group of paranormal enthusiasts attempt to act and a discount Halloween shop mask as a signature look. So, in the end this is either a really stupid ghost hunt or a really pathetic movie. Either way, the I’m the sucker who watched the whole damn thing.
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