⭐️⭐️1/2
Tobe Hooper… *checks notes*… well I’ll be damned. Yep, Tobe Hooper throws a big-ass reptile at some Spring Breakin’ idiots. The gaggle of energetic dorks take to the water on a rented boat and end up camping in an area where a giant pissed-off crocodile resides. You know, right by the long-abandoned hotel with a horrible history. Don’t get excited, it’s not an unofficial sequel to Eaten Alive. Why is it pissed off? Well, some local dumbasses smashed its eggs because of their “idiot-bumpkin” status. Oops. And then a couple of the goobers snatched up the only surviving egg and placed it in a backpack… as a goof. So yeah, most of the dead meat deserve being eaten and that’s just fine. The boat gets destroyed and the kids get stuck wandering the harsh terrain. Since it is spring break there’s plenty of youthful shenanigans, booze, butts and the kind of pop music a boardroom full of elderly white men would view as “hip.” Harrison Young is a cranky sheriff, an old-timer with an expertise on crocs and gators lends his assistance and the two leads are actually kinda likable. One of the ass-bags looks like a dollar store Chino Moreno and there’s talk of a cult worshipping the Egyptian crocodile god Sobek (it all ties into the nearly century-old crocodile). I’m not saying it’s an unheralded classic but I think when you attach someone like Tobe Hooper to something and it ends up being just middle ground a lot of folks are gonna claim it’s way worse than it is. We still have to spend a lot of time with annoying people and the cgi is exactly what you expect it to be (although, the monster ain’t exclusively digital awfulness) but I have a soft spot for these creature features tailor made for SyFy Channel and even if he was slumming it, Mr. Hooper was still a very talented man.
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